Thursday, 4 May 2006

What? I have flaws?

Is it possible that nothing happened to write about yesterday? Pretty much. I got a few phone calls, one being from my dad who told me to slow down.

Yes Dad. No Dad. I'm fine Dad.

I miss my kids even more than I thought possible. It's very hard to sound happy on the phone with them, but they'll be back on the 13th and I can't wait. They are having a blast so that's the main thing.

Yesterday was sweetness and light in comparison. I did very little. I wrote some, I read some, and I cooked a really nice dinner for Jacob. And I thought about the fact that I can live with his faults, and he can live with mine. I make him sound like he's perfect, my rescuer, my knight in shining armor.

He is those things, to me at least. But he is human, he has faults too. Who doesn't? He sleeps with the windows open. Brrrrrr! He will not grocery shop until the only thing left is a ketchup packet in the fridge. He has this way of frowning when he's disappointed with you that would knock you flat if you're paying attention. He listens too hard. Sometimes I wish he would interrupt and just spill out his thoughts but he waits until I have prattled on and on, going off on tangents and eventually forgetting my point. And when I finally stop talking he waits a few beats just to make sure. And then he considers his thoughts. I bet it works in his counselling sessions but I sometimes want to argue with him a little faster.

Or at least remember the point I was trying to make.

Wait. These are my faults. Or at least they look like my issues when I write them out. Yes. I like to be warm when I sleep. I like to know there's food in the cupboards in case of emergency. I don't like that frown, never have, because Jake rarely disapproves of anything and when he does it isn't the end of the world, but you know you screwed up. He can be harsh. And my give and take needs of fighting for my life every time I have an argument are drama queen tactics he waits out with amusement.

He's very annoying but I am as well. I had no idea that bad habit of twirling my hair and looking at the floor when I'm trying not to be obnoxious and to measure my words was so compelling to him and in the past week I have learned it is a powerful weapon which is totally unfair to him, I know. Twice we were in a group of people and I did it and then I noticed he lost his train of thought completely. He let me listen to him rehearsing a speech for a dinner and he lost his place. What a riot. I shouldn't do that but I really needed the funny release. He asked me to find a habit that isn't so devastating (who's the drama queen now, I ask you?) Jerk. Kidding. He's adorable. I can't even stand it. Like cute overload sometimes and I want to pinch myself black and blue.