Since the parade of ups and downs never ends let me say this-I love the moments when Jacob kisses my forehead, looks back at me just when I need him to to make sure I'm okay and I love that when I call him in the middle of the day to tell him I love him he sighs and smiles and I can hear it right through the phone. And the kids screaming for him all through the house when he comes back at dinner time. Jake! Jake is home! Jake! It's glorious. And it totally offsets all the other bullshit we're going through. All of it. He was worth it and oddly enough I would go through all of it again because I love him and I just wish I would have admitted there was something between us back in 1997 when we met and I couldn't stop thinking about him...for almost 10 years straight.
Yup. Love is grand.
But right now I have lilacs on my table from a walk with the kids with Ben, and he actually did leave some cake for us for later. Ben has gone for the day, off to chase women instead of babysitting them and Jake and I are going to sit on the porch tonight and sip some wine and do nothing except he promised to read to me a little. I love listening to him read aloud. We're working our way through my Hemingway collection beginning with A Moveable Feast and it sounds so beautiful when read by a male voice. Jake's voice.
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.