Oh for crying out loud. No. I am not pregnant.
And to further prove that fact, I'm opening a bottle of wine. Because it's Friday and I have earned whatever liquid drama I can conjure up tonight.
Because, you know, life just isn't dramatic enough right now.
Hell, I remember an exciting day was when a package came in the mail.
Why, yes, I did start drinking half an hour ago. But I can't have anymore until the kids are asleep.