Tuesday 30 May 2006

Of course we fight.

You people thrive on drama. That or you're all in a very bored post memorial day slump and you're reading blogs instead of doing work. Either way, keep it up because my American readership DOUBLED yesterday. I love it, maybe I'm a passive attention whore.

Or just a whore if you read my gmail. I'm sure it's all the girls who thought they'd capture Jacob over the years but he didn't see them because he was only looking at me have decided pestering me with nasty emails is the new gossip.

And no way am I posting the Mother's Day pictures online, much as I'd love to, my kids are in them and I won't be putting their pics on the interweb. If you feel like you're missing out, you are. They're amazing photos.

Someone on gmail told me to wait until reality set in, that pretty soon all the daily bullshit would crop up and life would no longer be sparkling and new. The post-honeymoon phase.

Right. Must be a new reader who wasn't paying attention. Jacob has been in my house 5 days a week for various reasons or a hot meal or a movie or whatever. He's been a permanent fixture since the winter of '98. That's a long honeymoon phase. The only difference is that now we can touch each other (all over!) without anyone feeling guilty. Like asking for a cookie and being given the entire Keebler Enterprise.

So in honor of the doubting thomases who read, here's a newsflash. Of course we argue. We started out arguing. We have argued through so much crap. Oh the stories I could tell. My all time favorite argument took place on a country dirt road in the moonlight after a hayride and we were screaming at each other and we never resolved it but I got and gave a damn big hug at the end because we love each other with no conditions attached. Always and forever.

And there's one revolving argument that never goes away, especially now. We have it 4 times a week every week and it will never be resolved. Because I am a stubborn girl.

The Great Hearing Aid Debate.

Because Jake loves to discuss my hearing disability. He loves to point it out. He likes to exploit it by saying he said something he didn't.

No, he doesn't exploit it like Cole exploited it the night he snuck up on me and plowed me into the wall. Not cool.

But of course now Jacob says hearing aids would be good for my safety.

Somehow I don't think it would have made a difference. If I had heard Cole I would have been thrown elsewhere. Possibly into traffic. Hearing him wouldn't have stopped him.

My issues are with background noise and certain low notes. I really have to concentrate. It's very tiring. Sometimes it's nice to be in my own world in that noise. I can't really explain why I won't wear hearing aids. He offered a cochlear implant. I don't want to go through surgery. I actually just like pretending my hearing issues don't exist and he's been the loudest dissenter about the subject since I have known him. My preference is to pretend that I am perfect (because DAMMIT I AM PERFECT.)

So I told him I would get the implant. The day after he gets life-sized angel wings tattooed on his back. Since I know he's got wings somewhere back there anyway. Larger than life.

Bless his heart. He shook his head and took a sip of his coffee, which means the argument will continue when he feels like it. I'll be here. I just won't hear him if the TV is on.

So yes, we fight. And I will write out some of those other stories another day.