Saltwater Princess

Jacob didnt conduct the service. At the last minute I think he decided I was to trashed to sit upright and so he sat with us and let me lean against him and enjoyed the heck out of Carolyn's sermon instead.

Afterward. I got a zagillion hugs. So nice. I would pay for those. Wonderful.

The feelings are going. It's not reverse homesickness or whatever. It's fear. The fear is going. Still drunk though. But just durnka nd not scared. I have to stop that. I can't be drunk this week. Too much to do. Memorial on Tuesady. It grew before my eyes. Cole has so many friends. None of whom can blame him for his craziness because of me. And they love me too. The kids, jake. Weird.
His office. God I can;t do this.

I asked Jake if he still wanted to marry me. He laughed and said no. Not until I'm sober again. He said he's going to out a limit on my foolishenss and I cant blame him. So I'm going to go dance on a table now and finish out the night and then tomkorrow I'm not touching anything. So hoepfully by Tues morning things will have evened iout.