Reassurance weighs more than oxygen some days.
Lochlan had enough with the bickering, yelling, the one brief struggle where Caleb decided not letting go of me when I was ready to leave his vicinity was well enough and gave a warning as only he can, with that expression that can flatten mountains with a clap that startles everything within a thousand-mile radius, birds taking flight, everything else running for cover. I'm the only soul who doesn't, holding my ground but waiting quietly for whatever's next.
He tilts his head and gives me a look like what the FUCK are you doing, and then he pulls me back inside, just as Caleb forgets he lives in this house and not the other one. It happens with a comical frequency and sometimes worries me just a little.
The rest of the day I spend within three inches of Lochlan because he's had it up to here, wherever that is, it's too high for me to see clearly and then once the dark settled he led the way back to where we're supposed to be, hands sliding up the back of my dress, lifting it over my hair, biting his lip, curled in slightly in thought, eyes reflecting light from nowhere, hands so warm I made a note to check for burns in the morning. Just one single kiss from him sends me to outer space and I know damn well the door was locked and he didn't let me breathe or sleep or come down from the dark until long after the rest of the house stirred and left for the day.
Only then did he let go and I resented it and told him so.
And he laughed cruelly. For the moment you do but that will change.
Will it?
He nods. Every. fucking. time.
I'm sorry.
Don't be. I get off on it too. Then I feel ashamed and I get angry about it.
He hasn't talked like that for years. Decades even. Not since I was very young and not understanding what he was trying to tell me. I make a note to work harder at that because it's an albatross we keep resurrecting because we don't know what else to do.
I love you, Peanut.
I love you, Locket.
More than him?
No idea who he means. Not like it matters. You never have to ask that again because I love you more than everything.
Right now you do.
Every moment, I do.
Promise me, Bridget. His voice drops to a hoarse whisper and it breaks my heart. He rarely shows fear, rarely seems to show anything but overreaching common fucking sense and ridiculous affection and never lets me know it's getting to him, that it bothers him, that he really wants it to stop but at the same time wants it to go on forever.
I promise, Locket. I whisper it back, because it's too heavy to speak out loud. It weighs a thousand tons and it means the world.
He nods. Good. Just making sure.
Lay your heart into my perfect machine
I will use it to protect you from me
I will never let you see what's beneath
So good for you and good for me
We told ourselves we're right where we ought to be
He tilts his head and gives me a look like what the FUCK are you doing, and then he pulls me back inside, just as Caleb forgets he lives in this house and not the other one. It happens with a comical frequency and sometimes worries me just a little.
The rest of the day I spend within three inches of Lochlan because he's had it up to here, wherever that is, it's too high for me to see clearly and then once the dark settled he led the way back to where we're supposed to be, hands sliding up the back of my dress, lifting it over my hair, biting his lip, curled in slightly in thought, eyes reflecting light from nowhere, hands so warm I made a note to check for burns in the morning. Just one single kiss from him sends me to outer space and I know damn well the door was locked and he didn't let me breathe or sleep or come down from the dark until long after the rest of the house stirred and left for the day.
Only then did he let go and I resented it and told him so.
And he laughed cruelly. For the moment you do but that will change.
Will it?
He nods. Every. fucking. time.
I'm sorry.
Don't be. I get off on it too. Then I feel ashamed and I get angry about it.
He hasn't talked like that for years. Decades even. Not since I was very young and not understanding what he was trying to tell me. I make a note to work harder at that because it's an albatross we keep resurrecting because we don't know what else to do.
I love you, Peanut.
I love you, Locket.
More than him?
No idea who he means. Not like it matters. You never have to ask that again because I love you more than everything.
Right now you do.
Every moment, I do.
Promise me, Bridget. His voice drops to a hoarse whisper and it breaks my heart. He rarely shows fear, rarely seems to show anything but overreaching common fucking sense and ridiculous affection and never lets me know it's getting to him, that it bothers him, that he really wants it to stop but at the same time wants it to go on forever.
I promise, Locket. I whisper it back, because it's too heavy to speak out loud. It weighs a thousand tons and it means the world.
He nods. Good. Just making sure.