You're a storm-surge, a tempest in a teapot.
Nice.
It's true, Peanut. You swirl up and mow through everything and then quiet right down again and we're left to clean up the mess.
I didn't make a mess.
It's on the inside, he says gently. I know this but I fight it. I didn't fail to note, however that Sam used Lochlan's nickname for me. Sometimes PJ uses it too but usually they refrain. It's not them, it's personal. It's private. I can only be a circus peanut for one elephant in the room at a time, and you know what happens when you don't feed that elephant, ignoring it instead. It withers and wastes and yet it's still there. Better to feed it, acknowledge it and then when it's independent, set it free.
Caleb laughs at this only I didn't say it out loud. Sam hears the ire in the sound and takes the opportunity to escape. See you tonight, he says, mashing a kiss against my hair. I'm late. See you, Brothers, he says to everyone/no one in particular and heads outside.
Don't be rude, I tell Caleb from my brain.
He sips his coffee, eyebrows up. Which elephant is it today, Bridget? The one where you can't tell them apart or is it the one where you try to keep Lochlan separate but fail because he doesn't stand out?
Someone's cranky.
I didn't sleep.
I have something you can take for that.
Indeed you do. But right now, I am also late for work. He takes his mug and heads upstairs to his mini-office for a quiet morning of overseeing his projects and I am left to my own devices. No kiss. No hug. I make a cup of coffee and start a fire. I take a minute and count my daily gratitudes and then I pick up my book for a moment, because no one will mind if I read for fifteen minutes.
Five words in and Lochlan appears over the top of my pages.
You didn't wake me? It's not a complaint but a curiosity.
You were so deep into your dreams. I couldn't.
Should have. We could have stayed in for a bit. He smiles. What's happening?
Sam left for work. Caleb went back upstairs to work. I heard crashing around in PJ's room. He might be fighting the raccoons he feeds. We should check on him.
If he doesn't appear by lunch we will.
By then the raccoons will have picked his bones clean.
Serves him right for feeding them.
True.
Want to go for a long walk? It's not supposed to rain again until tonight.
Just let me finish my coffee first?
Take your time. I'll go grab a shower and then wake up Ben.
He's still sleeping?
Same. Deep in dreams.
Aw.
Right?
Sounds like the only one who hasn't had a good rest is Caleb. He's crabby this morning.
He hates fall. It's too dark too early. He always has.
I nod, incredulous. They dig at each other. Lochlan could have said something horrible or even mildly stinging but instead he pointed out a very subtle reason for Caleb to feel that way that I never noticed or stopped to think about prior to this moment but he's completely right.
Nice.
It's true, Peanut. You swirl up and mow through everything and then quiet right down again and we're left to clean up the mess.
I didn't make a mess.
It's on the inside, he says gently. I know this but I fight it. I didn't fail to note, however that Sam used Lochlan's nickname for me. Sometimes PJ uses it too but usually they refrain. It's not them, it's personal. It's private. I can only be a circus peanut for one elephant in the room at a time, and you know what happens when you don't feed that elephant, ignoring it instead. It withers and wastes and yet it's still there. Better to feed it, acknowledge it and then when it's independent, set it free.
Caleb laughs at this only I didn't say it out loud. Sam hears the ire in the sound and takes the opportunity to escape. See you tonight, he says, mashing a kiss against my hair. I'm late. See you, Brothers, he says to everyone/no one in particular and heads outside.
Don't be rude, I tell Caleb from my brain.
He sips his coffee, eyebrows up. Which elephant is it today, Bridget? The one where you can't tell them apart or is it the one where you try to keep Lochlan separate but fail because he doesn't stand out?
Someone's cranky.
I didn't sleep.
I have something you can take for that.
Indeed you do. But right now, I am also late for work. He takes his mug and heads upstairs to his mini-office for a quiet morning of overseeing his projects and I am left to my own devices. No kiss. No hug. I make a cup of coffee and start a fire. I take a minute and count my daily gratitudes and then I pick up my book for a moment, because no one will mind if I read for fifteen minutes.
Five words in and Lochlan appears over the top of my pages.
You didn't wake me? It's not a complaint but a curiosity.
You were so deep into your dreams. I couldn't.
Should have. We could have stayed in for a bit. He smiles. What's happening?
Sam left for work. Caleb went back upstairs to work. I heard crashing around in PJ's room. He might be fighting the raccoons he feeds. We should check on him.
If he doesn't appear by lunch we will.
By then the raccoons will have picked his bones clean.
Serves him right for feeding them.
True.
Want to go for a long walk? It's not supposed to rain again until tonight.
Just let me finish my coffee first?
Take your time. I'll go grab a shower and then wake up Ben.
He's still sleeping?
Same. Deep in dreams.
Aw.
Right?
Sounds like the only one who hasn't had a good rest is Caleb. He's crabby this morning.
He hates fall. It's too dark too early. He always has.
I nod, incredulous. They dig at each other. Lochlan could have said something horrible or even mildly stinging but instead he pointed out a very subtle reason for Caleb to feel that way that I never noticed or stopped to think about prior to this moment but he's completely right.