It's Easter and I'm waiting in the driveway for my parents. We're going to church. I'm smashing at the snow that remains on the side of the pavement to melt it by breaking it up faster than the sun will do it. It's freezing cold but I'm in my thin spring coat, new spring dress and new shoes. My hair is pinned back. It's so long but since it's cold I asked my mom not to braid it like usual. Ten-year-olds have weird little autonomies they don't even recognize as such. Give them a little control and they become monsters.
Caleb comes out of his house across the street and down four. I wave but he doesn't see me. He's in dress pants, dress shoes and a shirt with buttons. His hair is combed. Cole comes out briefly, whipping a snowball at the car that Caleb just started to warm up for his parents. Caleb is eighteen now and home for Easter weekend. He gets out and sees me at last and waves, walking up the street.
Nice dress.
Thank you! It's new for Easter. You look nice too. When do you have to go back to school?
Monday night.
How is it?
Great. I have a room I share with a guy from Ontario, and we both like jazz so it's great. I'm taking law and commerce.
Good, I say. I don't know what those are. Do you miss it?
Miss what?
Being home?
Only the people. And he smiles at me as I think what people? before he clarifies. I miss you a lot.
Really? Why?
Because you're funny and you're always around so when you're not it's too quiet. How is grade five?
Good. I have to finish a book report on The Return of the Great Brain.
Did you like the book?
Yes. It reminded me of Lochlan.
Why?
Because he's smart too.
Caleb laughs and lights a cigarette. That's great. Your hair has gotten long.
You're just used to seeing it braided.
Yeah. I like it.
Why? I am suspicious now.
It makes you look older.
Really?
But then the door opens across the street and Lochlan comes out in a white shirt, dress pants and a jacket. He is fifteen and still not allowed to start the truck before church but he can shovel the walk. I take off running the minute I see him and forget that Caleb came over to talk to me specifically. Three-quarters of the way I remember and slow down to turn back to wave goodbye but he's already disappeared back into his house. My smooth shoes hit ice on the road and down I go.
My hands get scraped up and my knee rips a hole in my new dress. Lochlan picks me up and puts me on my feet, blowing on my hands to get rid of the grit and because they sting now. Gotta get those battle scars, Bridge. You'll be okay. I hear holey dresses are in now.
My eyes fill but I'm brave because he's here. I nod and he looks into my eyes kindly. That's my girl.
The approval sends me reeling with happiness. His girl. The brain's girl. Happily so even though I am lightyears from it. He kisses my hands and tells me to run inside and get fixed up and maybe we'll sit together if I'm allowed. I turn and start to run and he yells,
WALK, Bridget. Jesus. Don't fall again. But I don't hear the last part and go down again on the slippery stones of my front walk. I spring up like a jack in the box though. I don't feel a thing except the weird butterflies inside my chest.
Caleb comes out of his house across the street and down four. I wave but he doesn't see me. He's in dress pants, dress shoes and a shirt with buttons. His hair is combed. Cole comes out briefly, whipping a snowball at the car that Caleb just started to warm up for his parents. Caleb is eighteen now and home for Easter weekend. He gets out and sees me at last and waves, walking up the street.
Nice dress.
Thank you! It's new for Easter. You look nice too. When do you have to go back to school?
Monday night.
How is it?
Great. I have a room I share with a guy from Ontario, and we both like jazz so it's great. I'm taking law and commerce.
Good, I say. I don't know what those are. Do you miss it?
Miss what?
Being home?
Only the people. And he smiles at me as I think what people? before he clarifies. I miss you a lot.
Really? Why?
Because you're funny and you're always around so when you're not it's too quiet. How is grade five?
Good. I have to finish a book report on The Return of the Great Brain.
Did you like the book?
Yes. It reminded me of Lochlan.
Why?
Because he's smart too.
Caleb laughs and lights a cigarette. That's great. Your hair has gotten long.
You're just used to seeing it braided.
Yeah. I like it.
Why? I am suspicious now.
It makes you look older.
Really?
But then the door opens across the street and Lochlan comes out in a white shirt, dress pants and a jacket. He is fifteen and still not allowed to start the truck before church but he can shovel the walk. I take off running the minute I see him and forget that Caleb came over to talk to me specifically. Three-quarters of the way I remember and slow down to turn back to wave goodbye but he's already disappeared back into his house. My smooth shoes hit ice on the road and down I go.
My hands get scraped up and my knee rips a hole in my new dress. Lochlan picks me up and puts me on my feet, blowing on my hands to get rid of the grit and because they sting now. Gotta get those battle scars, Bridge. You'll be okay. I hear holey dresses are in now.
My eyes fill but I'm brave because he's here. I nod and he looks into my eyes kindly. That's my girl.
The approval sends me reeling with happiness. His girl. The brain's girl. Happily so even though I am lightyears from it. He kisses my hands and tells me to run inside and get fixed up and maybe we'll sit together if I'm allowed. I turn and start to run and he yells,
WALK, Bridget. Jesus. Don't fall again. But I don't hear the last part and go down again on the slippery stones of my front walk. I spring up like a jack in the box though. I don't feel a thing except the weird butterflies inside my chest.