Saturday 31 March 2018

Hang on to your britches, bitches.

Emmett has brought me a large coffee every single morning that he's been here since Wednesday. I've never had such a productive week. Eventually someone's going to tell him it's a bad idea and he'll apologetically stop but for now it's nice. He's trying to bond with me. I'm not dumb. If you asked him behind my back he would say he's just trying to make this transition easier and being polite to the owner of the house, plus it gives her a chance to voice concerns if he can check in each morning. That's what he will say when you ask, trust me.

I give them to Lochlan after drinking a quarter of them and I'm still contemplating painting the house while I single-handedly do massive spring cleaning jobs and Lochlan repeatedly wonders aloud why caffeine is such an incredible boost to me when no other medication seems to do a damned thing. They're practically fogging me with horse tranquilizers to get me to sleep half the time and so this is a strange turn for certain.

But the work is almost done. And I'm glad for the fact that for the next two days no workmen will be here and neither will Emmett which will mean no coffee curses but also a lot of room to plan and exact the biggest mashup of holidays in the history of this collective: April Fools' Day and Easter Sunday, falling on the same day for the first time EVER in our lives.

We're all doomed. It's going to be great. I'm ready. I think they are too.