Tuesday 20 March 2018

Equal lengths dark and light.

It went down like a really great gameplay by the world's best coach (not Travis Green, clearly), as I was distracted on my way back to Batman's by Lochlan, who had something to show me (the ocean, Peanut, look how beautiful! When do you want to set up the new camper? We can have a cookout, maybe a sleepout too if you like) and Jay was intercepted, paperwork in hand by Schuyler, who 'has a guy' to do taxes which turned out to be Caleb, and by default someone at an unnamed standard tax preparation front, since Jay means absolutely nothing to Caleb on a personal level and has virtually uncomplicated taxes so he was sent off to the shopping centre and reminded to keep up on the very basics of being an adult or there will be consequences.

When pressed, however, Caleb refused to tell me what the actual consequences are, and for the briefest second my curiosity ate my common sense, swallowing it whole while I considered telling Jay not to file his taxes so we could find out.

But I would never do that and so I'll have to guess at what would happen around here should we all fail to be adults.

On second thought, I'm sure I already know.

And on the upside, Schuyler released Lochlan from the latest round of endless work (HAD HIM HERE ALL DAY) and maybe they're better at Bridget-management, honestly, those who can be parental and micromanage and order and direct. Maybe patient isn't the way to go around here. Honestly whenever they instructed me to do something, I did it because they were older and smarter and responsible for me. So things like Get your jacket, Eat your vegetables, Go home now before it gets dark and Don't let go of my hand are second nature to them and never questioned by me as I was raised by these surrogate-parent wolves.

It works. I listen. They order and then teach. They usurp each other and also police one another.

But they always do their taxes.

(Because I make them.)