That Sunday after I wrote that I moved a little over two-thirds of the soil myself. I could bury a body, or at least I need to stay strong enough so that if push came to shove, I could do it. All by myself. I was going to leave the small amount that remained for last Monday but then I think the boys felt sorry for me and came out and all but finished it, thanking me profusely for doing the lions share. I didn't tell them as a lion I would most likely mangle them and I also didn't tell them about staying limber in order to murder anyone who gets in my way.
It's implied though. I'm sure of it. As much as they want to keep me locked up in a little box and leave me on the shelf, they're afraid of me. It's a mild fear, much the same as the fear of the brain freeze you get from the first ice cream from Bridge Drive-In once the floodwaters recede, usually around right now, which is just before Mother's Day.
Raise your hand if you feel like the child-
Oh, just me? Fine. But at least I'm not afraid to admit it.
The lilacs are indeed beginning to open. We've got three whites and a purple out front and the mother of all loaded purples out back and I keep sticking my face in them and inhaling deeply. Ben and I go for strolls every twelve to twenty hours, light or dark to check progress. The rest of the neighbours have wisteria but I love the lilacs even though the rest of the year they don't look like much. If I could create some kind of ever-blooming version then that would truly be heaven, along with a little ice cream and moonlight.
It is a flower moon tonight and its slated to be warm overnight. I planted sunflower seeds. Maybe hasty? Maybe right on time. We're going to swim after dark tonight to mark the change in seasons and I can breathe without checking myself finally. Things feel normal again and less emergent. Things feel good. It all smells like lilacs and it's my favourite time of spring.
Spring is not my favourite time of year, though, in case you thought it changed but lilac season is so close it's almost tied for first.