Friday, 14 September 2007

Sunflowers, turkeys and little hopeful beans.

    Happy is a yuppie word
    Nothing in the world could fail me now

Surviving another week has brought us some rewards, a cottage sold and finalized and a large quantity of cash in our bank account. I can be bought, we got a good offer on the property and we took it because the money is worth more than a difficult trip once a year. We can see the location of Cole's ashes from any one of a dozen spots along the way, the kids are not emotionally attached to the place, and yes, my rocking chair will be shipped back to me here. Really it was too much money to pass up, okay? I never said I was sentimental.

I have Switchfoot on this morning, some quietly comfortable songs while we get ready for a long and interesting day. This morning I'm helping in Henry's class, I have a few pounds of clay and we're going to make turkey placecard holders for Thanksgiving. It's a two-stage project, I go back in a few days and we'll paint them up. Should be fun and noisy.

In contrast, this afternoon will be deathly quiet and a little weird.

Jacob is having his vasectomy.

I'm driving him and will coddle him to pieces when we return home. He is very incredibly one hundred percent sure of it. Sometimes I wish I could be like him, develop a problem and just fix it and get over it and then move on, though this issue was a huge one for us and he wound up being more sure of it then I was, in the end. His single-minded devotion to every last aspect of his life is extraordinary to me, while I ping and pong all over the place, my newfound freedom and safety and his bottomless pit of offered affection wreaking total havoc on a human bean positively withered from previous neglect and poor treatment.

I was a sunflower that was tossed into a dark corner and dried up but then was lovingly uncovered and watered and placed in a sunny windowsill and now I won't stop growing and sometimes I choke off the sunlight, covering that whole window in my enthusiasm and then you cut me back or turn me so I can grow straight and I'm fine again and beautiful and strong and bright.

Someday to be admired.