Saturday, 1 September 2007

Just for a little while.

My house has been full of people since around five this morning. And I'm not going to be here to enjoy any of them, but I know they love me and I know they want good things for me.

Bailey and Erin are going to be sharing care of the kids and looking after my Jacob.

I'm going to go somewhere where I can get some help. I'm going this morning. I'll be admitted at eleven.

You see, life isn't supposed to be this hard for anyone and I'm constantly sabotaging myself because it feels better when I hurt. I can no longer deal with things and it's time to stop putting off real help. Just know that Jacob is not the bad guy I make him out to be. I have torn him up with my words and just about ruined him, and neither one of us can take me anymore. Not this way.

Wish her luck, I know she's in here somewhere.