Everything is personal to the devil. Including any personal directive for me to have fun, any generosity extended, or any action Batman takes toward me whatsoever.
Caleb laughs, amused at Batman's ridiculously impulsive suggestion that we buy 50k worth of desserts and ups the ante because he can be a jerk about things like this, taking things to heart that have nothing to do with him at all, not understanding that he doesn't have to say a word. It's not a contest. It's not a competition. I won't 'love' Batman more.
He's being immature.
The Devil calls me this morning, tells me dinner is on him, chuckles again in his low, handsomely devilish way and hangs up on me when I pause, silent in my confusion. Ice cream always follows dinner so I clue in seconds later and call him back.
What are you doing?
I told you, no one else gets to be the hero of your story.
But you're the villain, remember?
And for that he hangs up on me again. I log into my bank accounts because curiosity kills the Bridget, always and almost pass out from what I see. I call him back. That's dinner for all of us for the rest-
Of your lives. Yes, I know. You can thank me later by staying away from Batman.
You think you can buy my affections? Christ, Cale-
But he's hung up again. Great. I put the phone down, log out of the bank so no one else sees those numbers and head upstairs. I try to go into his wing without knocking but it's locked. I knock on the door and wait and after what feels like an eternity he opens the door.
You're being highly belligerent and unappreciative for what I thought was a significant gesture.
Simple gestures are not supposed to come with contingencies, Diabhal. You're buying people again.
I disagree. Well, maybe not. Not persons, but EVERYONE. Because fuck it. I can throw down as easily as he can.
That's your prerogative.
You think Batman's 'ice cream' comes without strings?
It doesn't matter if it does or doesn't.
That's naive, Neamhchiontach. Every dollar from that man is a tie that binds you to him.
You would know. Look what you're doing now.
Indeed. I'll be back later to help you decide what to do with your significant windfall. And also let this serve as a reminder. I built a double wall around my finances and you've only seen through one layer. Please don't assume Batman has more money than I do because I can assure you he does not.
O-Okay.
You seem surprised.
I'm not surprised in the least.(I am! I lie! WTF!) I just don't see how his gesture provokes you so much.
Oh, I'm provoked, Neamhchiontach. Now, don't touch it today please. I will help you allocate it tomorrow. It took a lot of hoops to transfer that much so quickly and I don't think I want to be on the phone any more today.
Allocate it to what?
Whatever investments you choose, of course. As long as they're of a decent yield.
So it's not my money.
It is, but I want it to work for you. This is too much to sit on. And no one ever made money by spending it on ice cream, so you know why I have more than he does.
This seems like a weird metaphor for my relationship with Batman and what you think of it.
Of course it is. As I said, don't be so naive.
Caleb laughs, amused at Batman's ridiculously impulsive suggestion that we buy 50k worth of desserts and ups the ante because he can be a jerk about things like this, taking things to heart that have nothing to do with him at all, not understanding that he doesn't have to say a word. It's not a contest. It's not a competition. I won't 'love' Batman more.
He's being immature.
The Devil calls me this morning, tells me dinner is on him, chuckles again in his low, handsomely devilish way and hangs up on me when I pause, silent in my confusion. Ice cream always follows dinner so I clue in seconds later and call him back.
What are you doing?
I told you, no one else gets to be the hero of your story.
But you're the villain, remember?
And for that he hangs up on me again. I log into my bank accounts because curiosity kills the Bridget, always and almost pass out from what I see. I call him back. That's dinner for all of us for the rest-
Of your lives. Yes, I know. You can thank me later by staying away from Batman.
You think you can buy my affections? Christ, Cale-
But he's hung up again. Great. I put the phone down, log out of the bank so no one else sees those numbers and head upstairs. I try to go into his wing without knocking but it's locked. I knock on the door and wait and after what feels like an eternity he opens the door.
You're being highly belligerent and unappreciative for what I thought was a significant gesture.
Simple gestures are not supposed to come with contingencies, Diabhal. You're buying people again.
I disagree. Well, maybe not. Not persons, but EVERYONE. Because fuck it. I can throw down as easily as he can.
That's your prerogative.
You think Batman's 'ice cream' comes without strings?
It doesn't matter if it does or doesn't.
That's naive, Neamhchiontach. Every dollar from that man is a tie that binds you to him.
You would know. Look what you're doing now.
Indeed. I'll be back later to help you decide what to do with your significant windfall. And also let this serve as a reminder. I built a double wall around my finances and you've only seen through one layer. Please don't assume Batman has more money than I do because I can assure you he does not.
O-Okay.
You seem surprised.
I'm not surprised in the least.(I am! I lie! WTF!) I just don't see how his gesture provokes you so much.
Oh, I'm provoked, Neamhchiontach. Now, don't touch it today please. I will help you allocate it tomorrow. It took a lot of hoops to transfer that much so quickly and I don't think I want to be on the phone any more today.
Allocate it to what?
Whatever investments you choose, of course. As long as they're of a decent yield.
So it's not my money.
It is, but I want it to work for you. This is too much to sit on. And no one ever made money by spending it on ice cream, so you know why I have more than he does.
This seems like a weird metaphor for my relationship with Batman and what you think of it.
Of course it is. As I said, don't be so naive.