Here comes Monday morning. It's like staring down a freight train, like standing in a spotlight. It's full of messages that began from across the globe.
Butternauts!
Butternauts. Still marvelling at those things, on such a grand, lifesize scale. I wish all my dreams could come true life-size. I'd still like to own a goat. Apparently the horse I fostered wasn't welcome on the point because of livestock bylaws here and I know damn well the neighbors have their ears wide open and binoculars trained on me at any given moment. I've been known to be gardening and feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up, only to rise and give the middle finger to the sky. Like fuck off already, you don't need to check up on me, I'm just here trying to pull my carrots out of the ground so we can have them for dinner but I must have planted them in concrete because I have to dig all the way down with my fingers to get them out. Holy CRAP this is hard.
But it is Monday and once I harvested everything that was ready (please, someone come and eat all of these tomatoes), I sat down to look at the budget and found a bit of a windfall I didn't expect.
From Batman.
I message him. What is that?
Some spending money.
Some spending money is fifty dollars or so.
Not where I come from.
I can almost see his face right now. He's always amused when I talk money with him. I live in a house with a four-car garage and many wings and I still cringe when I buy my favorite rye bread because it's almost five dollars a loaf. I walk over to his house. It's so nice out this morning. He is happy to see me. I get a warm hug. He smells like goatsmilk soap. I bet he would like a goat as well. Then we could make our own soap.
This is too much.
What would be acceptable?
Fifty dollars.
But there's ten of you in the house at present.
Right?
So I multiplied it by a thousand because you deserve it. Because to me, five thousand is acceptable for spending money. And you're all on vacation so I want you to all to enjoy.
Market doing that well?
That's part of it. He laughs again. Batman holds his cards so close. I don't get to see a transparent picture of his wealth but I've caught glimpses and he has more money than Caleb and yet he spends little. Just take the money and have some fun.
After I distribute it I think I will. Ruth will be thrilled.
Does she spend a lot?
No, she's a mad saver. Like her father.
Ah. Good to hear. Have some fun, please, Bridget.
That's the third time you've said that. I don't look like I'm having fun?
From here, it appears that everyone is having fun with you, I just want to ensure that you are as well.
I'm fine.
Promise?
If I need you I'll be the first to let you know.
I don't believe that for a second. This small gesture ensures that they won't wait to let me know.
I knew it. It's not a windfall, it's insurance.
It's ice-cream money. That's all.
Right.
Butternauts!
Butternauts. Still marvelling at those things, on such a grand, lifesize scale. I wish all my dreams could come true life-size. I'd still like to own a goat. Apparently the horse I fostered wasn't welcome on the point because of livestock bylaws here and I know damn well the neighbors have their ears wide open and binoculars trained on me at any given moment. I've been known to be gardening and feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up, only to rise and give the middle finger to the sky. Like fuck off already, you don't need to check up on me, I'm just here trying to pull my carrots out of the ground so we can have them for dinner but I must have planted them in concrete because I have to dig all the way down with my fingers to get them out. Holy CRAP this is hard.
But it is Monday and once I harvested everything that was ready (please, someone come and eat all of these tomatoes), I sat down to look at the budget and found a bit of a windfall I didn't expect.
From Batman.
I message him. What is that?
Some spending money.
Some spending money is fifty dollars or so.
Not where I come from.
I can almost see his face right now. He's always amused when I talk money with him. I live in a house with a four-car garage and many wings and I still cringe when I buy my favorite rye bread because it's almost five dollars a loaf. I walk over to his house. It's so nice out this morning. He is happy to see me. I get a warm hug. He smells like goatsmilk soap. I bet he would like a goat as well. Then we could make our own soap.
This is too much.
What would be acceptable?
Fifty dollars.
But there's ten of you in the house at present.
Right?
So I multiplied it by a thousand because you deserve it. Because to me, five thousand is acceptable for spending money. And you're all on vacation so I want you to all to enjoy.
Market doing that well?
That's part of it. He laughs again. Batman holds his cards so close. I don't get to see a transparent picture of his wealth but I've caught glimpses and he has more money than Caleb and yet he spends little. Just take the money and have some fun.
After I distribute it I think I will. Ruth will be thrilled.
Does she spend a lot?
No, she's a mad saver. Like her father.
Ah. Good to hear. Have some fun, please, Bridget.
That's the third time you've said that. I don't look like I'm having fun?
From here, it appears that everyone is having fun with you, I just want to ensure that you are as well.
I'm fine.
Promise?
If I need you I'll be the first to let you know.
I don't believe that for a second. This small gesture ensures that they won't wait to let me know.
I knew it. It's not a windfall, it's insurance.
It's ice-cream money. That's all.
Right.