Oh my God. I think I prefer days where being in pajamas is optional and I can throw logs on the fire until they're all gone and then let myself be hypnotized into the ether. This rare alternative now smacks of cruelty and charge as I stand in front of the fridge at two-thirty this afternoon in my work dress, stilettos on, ipad case under one arm, stabbing at some cold rice and chicken while propping the fridge door open. I don't have time to heat it up, don't have time for more than a couple of bites because someone had an emergency meeting and then one ran super-long and so help me, I told Caleb if I wasn't home before the mass exodus of traffic hits the ninety-nine, just after dark at suppertime, there will be a reckoning the likes of which he's never seen before and will never ever forget.
(Spoiler: We made it. It's four thirty-nine and he has volunteered pajamas and brandy and take out. I have declined in favour of pajamas, pot roast, broccoli and diet Dr. Pepper.)
Besides, third fucking set of meetings* in a little over a week and I don't need to be there. He just wants something to look at when he's bored and someone else is talking, wants to stir the pot with Lochlan by taking me away for the whole day and wants to liven up his life for it is so quiet now without the two-thousands techbro music, cocaine and Russian prostitutes, all ordered and then written off by corrupt former frat-boy bosses anxious to live the Wolf Life.
It makes me laugh. Caleb now lives with a women who buys living lettuce and sews her own aprons, who has a long list of lovers and he is weirdly not even at the top. I hate techno, cocaine AND Russian prostitutes (or from anywhere, for that matter) and as I've said before, if you're going to write something off on my watch better make sure you qualify.
I feel like I was designated Caleb's conscience when I was still in Grade 5 and he's been running flat out ever since, unaccountable, unchecked.
Except he's an old man now, quick to anger, quick to be placated.
What do you think, Bridget?
Suddenly I'm being taken seriously? Right. I bite the end of my pen so they can see my sharpened milkteeth and spout off a bimbo reply. It's on purpose and it gets the polite laughter and Caleb's eyes flash so dark I am shocked as I return my gaze to my agenda.
He wraps it up fairly quickly and I am steered, by the arm, stilettos on snow and gravel, back to his car. It's a short-term lease. So am I. Limited mileage (HA) overpowered (WAIT NO) and ridiculously overpriced (HAHAHA YEAH). Sparkly paint job (INDEED). He loves it. He swears under his breath but doesn't throw me in the seat, instead waiting patiently for me to get situated and then he closes the door gently. I already had my punishment. This is merely payback.
Once home he disappears to his study upstairs and I find my flannel pajamas. Going to wear them to dinner and start a new fashion trend. Crank up the heat and find Lochlan, who pours me a glass of wine and asks how it went. Caleb returns just at that moment and we grin at each other.
Mission accomplished. Four trips into the city, two pair of ruined stilettos and one very good deal now done. He owes me so big now I can probably rename the moon. Taking them all with me when I do. The sad part here is the dumber I act the more they let me get away with (the lawyers, not the boys).
*(nothing to be alarmed about. We were offered a price for some real estate Caleb has held for a long time, one he didn't plan to sell but seriously for that sort of figure I would hand off my soul again but in playing it cool and being all super nostalgic and wistful about it in the end we walked away with far more than the original offer and I'm still forever pinching myself when I'm rolling high. Get it? High-rolling? Ha.)