All in all I don't know what to believe
But I told my friends I'm not sure if they're real
And I'm peering in mirrors for proof that I'm here
Half in, half out of this broken machine
Sick to the bone with some spectral disease
Came back from the void with the void still in me
Oh, how I wish I was here
He's so quiet, almost like he's talking to himself and not to me. I came down to get out of the smoke and away from the construction noise. I think he likes the company but my panic never went away and I'm spooling up like a tornado again. He's attempting to help.
Right here. Shhhh. Shhhhhhhh. He looks kindly into my eyes before pushing his hand up around the back of my head, pulling me in, pulling me down into his arms, a place I don't know all that well even though I have been here before. I can't send you back like this.
I shake my head. No, he definitely can't. I root for a kiss in the sudden smoky heat and he responds easily. This one is so easy to read. So easy to love and leave. So easy to crush on hard enough to draw blood in the palms of my hands, between my teeth, behind my eyes, leaving me bloodshot and heartsick and then in the next breath it's gone. The difference is that he isn't looking to be in charge, isn't looking to be powerful or overpower. He just makes the offer and this is only the third or seventh time I've taken it, my Teflon Jesus who never sticks around long enough in my heart that it hurts and he does that on purpose to not be a burden.
He likes to pin me flat on my back, kiss a lot and he's usually either barking at me to sleep or asking me to go within a couple of hours. He's quiet about it and far more gentle with his words when he wants to sleep alone than August is, that's for sure. I don't leave feeling that I did something wrong, it's more like he gets full-up on Bridget and then he's good for a long while.
Dalton's never been as predictable as some of the other boys and the last time I was here I brought Loch with me but someone has to look after Ben and yesterday I wasn't allowed and neither was Loch. We are exhausted and stressed and needed a break, which again I'll argue because Ben doesn't get one.
Close your eyes, Poem. Ah, conjuring up his brother's charms will surely help.
I think I have to go. But thank you for having me. I land a final kiss on his cheek and he laughs.
Thanks for letting me have you.