No church today as Ben still tires easily and we won't leave him alone. We're shift-napping, shower-sharing and eating when he is hungry and it's honestly been the nicest schedule as I even slept until eight-thirty this morning, his arms tight around me, one hand holding Lochlan's head because Lochlan's arms were also around me but he had a hand tucked in Ben's elbow. Thank heavens it's not twenty-five degrees overnight anymore. On the contrary, actually and it's wonderful and cozy and I feel safe again, at last.
This morning Sam blessed us all on the way out the door. I am in respectable pajamas, enjoying a coffee mug full of ice and grapefruit juice, mildly hungover but also worn and tired today. I popped a multivitamin, lit an Indian temple incense stick and brought Midnight Sun (it's that good) outside to read on the patio under the pergola. It's vaguely overcast and scheduled to be very windy tomorrow and then really hot for the rest of the week so I have an eye towards chores and what will really need to be done this week versus what can wait one more. We're trying to wring the last of summer out here, trying to keep ahead of the headaches and ennui, trying to indulge in group self care and comfort, trying to just feel better about everything and heal up from the stress of August (the month, not the person).
We'll get there. Always do. Finding the little rituals, the tried and trues, the poetry of being flawed humans. The endless second chances, always called second because we can't keep track.
Ben is working his way through emails. A line or two saying he's home recovering from a brain injury after a fall and if there's anything pressing between now and December to reach out and otherwise he'll reconnect after Christmas. None of it was due before that that hasn't already been finished and he is content again, closing his laptop lid, putting his head back to catch the sun, eyes closed.
Schuyler's taking over as point sponsor from Ben too, though people still confide in Ben in a way they don't with even Schuy. We're good. So good. Still just happy he's here.