But I just GOT here. I don't know where the best hiding places are. Also it's dark! What if I get lost?
Out of politeness or maybe curiosity (I would later learn they just fold people into their pack as they come across them. It was only once I was part of it that they became selective, protective) the boys invited me to play Night & Seek. It's hide and seek but outside in the dark and when you're eight the only things more frightening are beets and spiders.
Cole is It.
Come hide with me. Lochlan takes my hand, pulling me along with him. We run down the street into the woods at the dead end, heading up the path. Ten paces in he stops.
Here, I'll piggyback you. We'll be faster that way. We're going all the way to the ball field. That's the boundary.
I don't know if I'm allowed.
It will take Cole about fifteen minutes to finish the game. No one will even know you're gone. He turns and gets down on one knee. Get on, quick!
I throw my arms around his neck and my knees around his hips and he stands up, taking off in a flat run. I scream because he's so fast and he slows down, saying shhhhhhh. I press my face against the back of his shirt. He is thirteen-year-old sweaty summer chaos. His hair is in my eyes. It's springy and curly and long for a boy. I have never seen curls so big on a boy before.
He tucks his hands behind my knees and we hide in the dugout. He remains vigilant, still holding me tight against his back even as we are both overheated and breathing heavily, trying to be quiet.
Cole shouts in my ear and I shriek in surprise as he yells GOT YOU. TWO FOR ONE. Loch, you've got a...a...barnacle! Somethings growing on your back! I think it's a girl!
Lochlan kneels back down and I step back, on solid ground again. My stomach churns wilfully. It feels weird. I want to be against him again. He is so nice. And so cute.
That's a new one. Go and wait where we're hiding? That might be cheating.
It's not cheating. You're just mad you got caught. If you didn't decide to be Bridget's babysitter you would have won.
He's not my babysitter!
I didn't want her to get lost.
Then you're her babysitter.
Fuck you, man.
No, fuck you. Wait, you sure you want to swear in front of the baby?
I'm NOT a baby!
If you can't play Night & Seek without a chaperone you're a baby, Bridget. Maybe you should find some grade three kids to play barbies with or something.
Jesus, Cole, lighten up. She's fine. Caleb steps into the light from the outfield, striking a match and lights his cigarette. I take a step backwards out of the smoke. He notices and blows a ring directly at me. I am thoroughly impressed by his coolness, his seventeen-year-old independence. I step back and stick my hand through the ring and he blows another. I have forgotten what they're fighting about. All of the boys are back now as it ends when the first person is found.
Come on, Bridgie. I don't want to take you home smelling like smoke.
Who says you have to take her home? I can take her, and since I'm an adult they won't think she was with you smoking.
Lochlan's jaw clenches but he can't argue with the logic. He nods. Is that okay with you, Bridget?
She's fine, Caleb growls. Lochlan is staring at me though.
I nod. I don't want to get in trouble and I guess I might any other way.
Tomorrow I'll come get you and show you all the places that are good and what the boundaries are so you see them in daylight, okay?
I nod. Promise?
Yeah sure. I'll come to your door at like nine. Be ready okay?
Okay. I am excited suddenly. He's coming back and still wants to be my friend even as all the other boys think I'm a baby.
Sweet dreams. He smiles and the others start chiming in and soon it's a chorus rising up into the night but I have already shifted gears. Caleb walks slowly so I can keep up and he lights another cigarette.
You shouldn't smoke, you know. Did you see the commercial on television? It makes you breathe brown air.
I'll give it up as soon as I find a better vice.
Like what?
I have something in my sights. Probably won't be long.