Wednesday 25 November 2020

Last resort.

What did he put in your account?

Caleb is fighting his expression in the firelight. Struggling for chaotic neutral, as it were. His eyes glitter with glee and bitterness and possibly a smattering of victory and I want to walk out the door but instead I tell him, as instructed, exactly how much money Batman put in my account. This isn't a big secret. Batman is the original John Gage, offering Cole whatever he wanted in exchange for me and Cole didn't give a shit. Take her if you want her, I'm busy. So Batman paid Cole for the paintings he wanted and then gave me the money he thought was reasonable for me. 

But I was never his. 

And we've run through a few decades now living life and he never fails, a few times a year, to put a deposit in my account that makes my eyes water, whether I let him touch me or not. He was always the invisible saviour, my way out if things with Cole (or with Cole and Caleb) got to be too much and I had to run. When the kids came along the deposits grew. Now the kids are grown and the deposits haven't changed and I've still never spent a dime. I like knowing it's there. I plan to give it all back. There is no way to repay this man for the peace of mind he generously extended to me but I can try. I just couldn't give him what he wanted in life and dammit if he didn't even miss a step over it. 

At least outwardly.

If only any single other man on the point had that sort of strength of character we wouldn't be like this now. 

Is that fair? I don't know. Does it even matter? They all have their strengths. And their weaknesses. I am the only weakness Batman has. At least that I know of. He's still a stranger after all this time.

He's trying to buy back your affections. 

He's just assuring me the only way he can that in spite of my decisions he is still here for me if I need him.

You won't need hi-

Diabhal, stop. This isn't up for debate. Batman doesn't get to be judged by Caleb. Batman is the only true adversary Caleb's ever had. Lochlan is a lover, not a fighter.

(Besides Jake but Jake isn't here anymore. A sharp sudden pain rips through my chest and is gone as soon as I feel it.)

Fine. What would you like for Christmas? Because if you don't give me a list I'm just going to drop into Tiffany and-

A hot chocolate and movie night. Ending with a walk on the beach in the snow and a brandy.

We can do that every damn night all winter if you want. 

There's no snow. 

I'll get you snow.