Caleb messaged me this morning, early. Just a heart and when I asked if he was up, if he wanted to have coffee, if he needed something he didn't reply. I went down the hall, down the three steps and knocked lightly. No answer so I let myself in, went through his den, down the hall and knocked again on yet another closed door. No answer. My heart's awake now, instant concern and I open the door and cross to his bed where he is face down in a swimmer's pose, arms up around the pillow, dark brown hair sticking up, tattoos on glorious display.
Diabhal. I lie down next to his face and he opens his eyes and grabs me in close. I shriek in response. Jumpscares when I'm already scared to death aren't fair and damn straight someone in this room is going to have a heart attack and I don't think it'll be him this time.
Fuck, Cale! I am angry. I don't like being tricked and he knows damn well if he asked for me I would have come anyway. I try to shove him away but his iron grip holds me in against his warm skin. I give up because there's no point to fighting him.
Sorry. I actually did have a hard time staying awake long enough to type a whole message so I figured you would understand.
What do you need? I pull back to look at his face.
Cuddles. His eyes are big. Medium blues that I've seen darken to black before my own eyes. Please. I just want to hold you for a while.
We're all worn out emotionally and physically. I'm sick. He's worried, not unlike the others, and everyone is subsisting on reassurance and affection these days and little more.
What can I do, Neamhchiontach?
You know what. Bring Jacob back.
I'm not doing that to L-
So I can leave him, and then I'll have closure. And the upper hand.
Was that it? You're looking for control?
Maybe.
I believe you have it now. If you tell us to jump, we wait for you to follow with how high.
Do you think I do? I twist my head to look up at him.
Definitely. The tides have turned, Bridget. You're in charge now. Of your happiness. You don't run after Lochlan. He wants to be with you. He's not going to leave.
I relax all of my muscles. It takes effort and a reminder lately.
So you're not going to bring Jake back so I can do all this?
I don't think you need to do all that. I think Jake knows exactly what you would do if he were here. And I think you don't have to be afraid anymore.
He wraps his arms tight around me again, pulling me in against his chest while my brain explodes.