(Don't panic. It's a song lyric.)
I still have a weird dent and a white mark on my fingernail where I slammed my finger in the fridge at work on one of my last days. I only miss my paycheques, nothing else and when I went in to drop off my dress I was struck by how disorganized and filthy everything was. And yet it was filled with customers. I think my next job will be bagging groceries. At least there all the food is sealed and I can't be embarrassed by the state of it all. When people ask what's good I would pick a different dish every day off the back of the menu because I don't know, I wouldn't eat it.
Caleb smooths his fingers across the dent and tells me it will grow out soon. He's anxious once again to get a good review, a favourable mention in my writing instead of a vent or a despairing question of why he's here. I don't know what he wants me to say. No one needs to hear that he woke me out of a sound sleep last night, brought me to heaven four times straight with his fingers and then with his mouth and then put his weight on me, bringing himself up to where I was before disappearing back to his own room in the dark. It wasn't midnight yet. I was so sleepy. Just the way he loves it. Then I feel asleep again and when I woke up it was daylight. I was curled against Ben with Lochlan wrapped around me. I had to see if it was a dream. I asked Lochlan why Caleb came back and he didn't answer, changing the subject instead.
When I come downstairs PJ is playing Slipknot's Orphan so loud I think the roof is going to rattle right off the house.
Right? He grins, giving me a couple of good headbangs for effect.
The guitar sounds like Van Halen. I frown at him and he laughs.
Okay, so I know it's not your favorite.
Ooh. I like this part though. I give him a single slow headbang in return and he claps for me.
God. So proud. You look like a mom trying to be there for her kid.
So I'll skip that part and just throw the horns instead?
Atta girl. Throw them HIGH.
It better not be as hot as it was yesterday all day or I swear I'm going to liquify and they'll have to keep me in a jar in the fridge, which sounds great right now frankly. I actually fit in the fridge. We checked and scared the fuck out of Duncan one morning as he blindly reached in for something and I grabbed his hand.
I still have a weird dent and a white mark on my fingernail where I slammed my finger in the fridge at work on one of my last days. I only miss my paycheques, nothing else and when I went in to drop off my dress I was struck by how disorganized and filthy everything was. And yet it was filled with customers. I think my next job will be bagging groceries. At least there all the food is sealed and I can't be embarrassed by the state of it all. When people ask what's good I would pick a different dish every day off the back of the menu because I don't know, I wouldn't eat it.
Caleb smooths his fingers across the dent and tells me it will grow out soon. He's anxious once again to get a good review, a favourable mention in my writing instead of a vent or a despairing question of why he's here. I don't know what he wants me to say. No one needs to hear that he woke me out of a sound sleep last night, brought me to heaven four times straight with his fingers and then with his mouth and then put his weight on me, bringing himself up to where I was before disappearing back to his own room in the dark. It wasn't midnight yet. I was so sleepy. Just the way he loves it. Then I feel asleep again and when I woke up it was daylight. I was curled against Ben with Lochlan wrapped around me. I had to see if it was a dream. I asked Lochlan why Caleb came back and he didn't answer, changing the subject instead.
When I come downstairs PJ is playing Slipknot's Orphan so loud I think the roof is going to rattle right off the house.
Right? He grins, giving me a couple of good headbangs for effect.
The guitar sounds like Van Halen. I frown at him and he laughs.
Okay, so I know it's not your favorite.
Ooh. I like this part though. I give him a single slow headbang in return and he claps for me.
God. So proud. You look like a mom trying to be there for her kid.
So I'll skip that part and just throw the horns instead?
Atta girl. Throw them HIGH.
It better not be as hot as it was yesterday all day or I swear I'm going to liquify and they'll have to keep me in a jar in the fridge, which sounds great right now frankly. I actually fit in the fridge. We checked and scared the fuck out of Duncan one morning as he blindly reached in for something and I grabbed his hand.
Keeping up appearances with acts of attrition
It doesn't matter 'cause I know you'll never listen
Before you knew it when you saw it, now you say you never knew it
It was all a big conspiracy
We came together when the hands of fate let go
Is there anybody left to fill this hole?