(Hi, you can skip today. It's not for you.)
Neamh-
No. I push him away. This isn't what I want. This isn't how I pictured it all. I dip back under briefly and in the blackness I see Jacob, who takes me around the waist to propel me back to them. His hair flows around his face, his beard floats and his eyes are still so kind, even now when filled with concern.
Go, Bridge. You don't belong here.
I know. It's the Atlantic, not the Pacific, that I'll die in. That's why they keep me here. Can't self-fulfill a self-fulfilling prophecy when they won't let me out of their sight.
You're not going to die until you're a very old apple doll. I laugh in his face as he says it and he frowns as I fight his efforts to push me to the air.
It'd be easier to stay with you.
Not for them and he's done talking. He gives a final thrust of his arms and I am catapulted into the sky, gasping for air as Caleb's hands reach down and pull me from Jacob's arms.
STOP IT. He's screaming and I don't know it until the water drains from my ears. His voice is strange, strangled and strained. I don't remember him ever sounding like that before. Instead of holding me away from him he pulls me in tight, stroking my face. He's not down there, Bridget.
Maybe you should tell him that.
He looks at the sky. I don't even know what to do with you at this point. Tell me how to help. Tell me how to prevent this. THIS is what's killing all of us, Bridge. Please. Let me help you. Don't let all of this go to waste. Jesus CHRIST. I did this all for you. At least let me use it to fix this.
You can't fix this.
Let me try. Oh, Jesus, please let me try. He breaks and I get to see it happen.
I think that's what might work. If they all drop the facades and let me get through this then maybe I can actually get through it instead of dying every time I try. A force of one tiny bird against a gale force wind, an army of weather I can't rise above so I keep trying to sneak underneath.
Jacob shakes his head. Ever cautious and doubtful. Ever dead.
You don't get a say! I yell at the water and Caleb just continues to sob.
Now I waitI pushed up toward the light, away from the blackness, the unknown beneath me. Fighting panic, fighting to breathe I shot to the surface, a reverse asteroid hellbent on remaining on earth, even as I was meant to descend from the stars.
This metamorphosis
All that is left is the change
Selfish fate
I think you made me this
Under the water I wait
Neamh-
No. I push him away. This isn't what I want. This isn't how I pictured it all. I dip back under briefly and in the blackness I see Jacob, who takes me around the waist to propel me back to them. His hair flows around his face, his beard floats and his eyes are still so kind, even now when filled with concern.
Go, Bridge. You don't belong here.
I know. It's the Atlantic, not the Pacific, that I'll die in. That's why they keep me here. Can't self-fulfill a self-fulfilling prophecy when they won't let me out of their sight.
You're not going to die until you're a very old apple doll. I laugh in his face as he says it and he frowns as I fight his efforts to push me to the air.
It'd be easier to stay with you.
Not for them and he's done talking. He gives a final thrust of his arms and I am catapulted into the sky, gasping for air as Caleb's hands reach down and pull me from Jacob's arms.
STOP IT. He's screaming and I don't know it until the water drains from my ears. His voice is strange, strangled and strained. I don't remember him ever sounding like that before. Instead of holding me away from him he pulls me in tight, stroking my face. He's not down there, Bridget.
Maybe you should tell him that.
He looks at the sky. I don't even know what to do with you at this point. Tell me how to help. Tell me how to prevent this. THIS is what's killing all of us, Bridge. Please. Let me help you. Don't let all of this go to waste. Jesus CHRIST. I did this all for you. At least let me use it to fix this.
You can't fix this.
Let me try. Oh, Jesus, please let me try. He breaks and I get to see it happen.
I think that's what might work. If they all drop the facades and let me get through this then maybe I can actually get through it instead of dying every time I try. A force of one tiny bird against a gale force wind, an army of weather I can't rise above so I keep trying to sneak underneath.
Jacob shakes his head. Ever cautious and doubtful. Ever dead.
You don't get a say! I yell at the water and Caleb just continues to sob.