You push until you're shoving
You bend until you break
Isn't it obvious?
Jacob took the Nyquil away. I'm not supposed to be taking it, especially now with a higher dose of antidepressants but sometimes it's better to be unconscious than to be sick. Or something. In any event he said he would make as much tea and refill as many hot water bottles as I could ask for but no more cold medicine. Darn it.
He put it so succinctly too.
I'll coddle you until the cows come home, but Bridge, you can't take any more of that shit.
I know. I am feeling better and I do know better than to mix all of this stuff together. It's a little like the Vicodin and vodka cocktail that got me through part of last summer. Sometimes the escape in a bottle is just too tempting for me.
Especially when I'm artificially amplified here. I'm boosted up to twelve and walking around like everything is awesome whether it is or not! Who cares?! It's a blissful trip through outerspace and when I get to the end I'm going to hide on the floor so the operator won't see me and then I can go round once more.
Or maybe twice.
Jake holds on so tight. I like it that way.
Caleb threatened to sue me or at the very least ruin my life if I started to spread rumors, let alone provide him with ammunition that I may or may not have cheated on his brother on a regular basis and so I've been cut off at the knees in my public confessional. I had to remove the work I had begun, as curious as Caleb is to know what I am like to fuck, he's more concerned that I ruin his golden reputation. He showed up here unannounced and he showed up somewhere else unannounced and it was a huge coincidence but it wasn't (Shhhhh) and I won't ever believe it was and he chose to take the low road and had his lawyer send me a letter telling I should stop or else, in case I felt like writing about the stalking, because I was going to.
It would be pathetic but the space cowgirl thinks it's hilarious.
I have a lawyer too, no worries.
I'm not risking anything or fighting any more battles with my former family so I took it down the other place and I won't be writing about his alleged obsession with me. I think he wanted a fight or a drawn out drama that he could be the center of and it would enable him to be close to me for a while longer but in that regard he will be denied.
While I will be closely held.
By Jacob.
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
Who is back to keeping a list of people he would like to murder and busy looking after me as I pass out in compromising positions in my lingerie. That alone would keep anyone close.
I won't censor fuck all. I just won't write about Caleb for a while. Simple solution to a problem that I don't really care about, because these pills are fucking awesome. And I am too.
Untouchable. You can't hurt me.
You might, however, find me passed out somewhere sans proper attire. Just try to avert your eyes. Or at least look while I'm out of it. I'm fucking spectacular.
Or so I was told this morning.
Right. High with a capital F. Fucked up. And O for obnoxious too. Space cadet reporting for duty, Captain.
Does justice never find you? Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?
