I had a long, exposed and very painful rant written and when I was about to hit publish I realized something.
It's pointless.
Posting it would serve to open my brand new husband to the scorn and judgment of everyone we know and don't know, the same people who would love to point out that possibly I fell into the same hole all over again just with different variables, this time. And right now that's the last thing I need.
I could detail the continuing argument and you would hate both of us, and I won't have anyone hating him. Hate me all you like.
Right now what I need is no more yelling, no more pain and no more upheaval. What I need is to find a way around today's new irritable mood, and the shaking, God, to be able to hold a plate long enough to wash it without breaking it and to be able to sleep through the night without waking up my entire family with my screams of fright.
All of that might be too much to ask but I have asked anyways. A hug would be nice too, but my nice guy has so many raw nerve endings today he's offering up nothing, just to protect what's left of his own emotions. He's tired of talking, he's tired of groundhog day, he's tired of me and was in his office before 7 am. It was still dark out. I got the kids ready for school and then we walked over and now I'm back home alone and no one appears to care. That's something new, too.
