Hey, Bridge? Come outside for a sec.
Huh? No, fuck that. It's freezing.
Just for a moment. Get your coat on.
What in the heck is that?
Your new ride, princess.
Well, that...that's really big, Jake.
Sitting out front blocking the sunlight was a candy-apple dark red Dodge Ram 3500 quad cab behemoth of a pickup truck. I have to admit, she is awfully pretty and I'm slightly jealous of Jacob's attentions being shifted off me to this new toy. The one with running lights and dual wheels in the back.
I didn't think we needed a truck that big. It's a far cry from the old beloved vintage Suburban, which finally went to the junkyard in the sky, the same one he's been driving since he was 16 years old. But at least this one comes without worries, it's brand new. He's earned it. He really has.
It has heated seats. For my perpetually cold bony little ass. Oh, terrific, honey!
What's funny is I can just see over the hood. On tip-toes. It fits him, though and he's like a kid in a candy store looking at it. Like consumerism just skidded into our house and bit him in the ass. He had to have her. And he looks like a cowboy now with his new truck, having completed the last vestiges of the western male myth to a tee. I asked him if he was going to wear his cowboy hat now to complete the package.
What, you think I should?
Why, yes. Yes I do. Hot damn.
