Today will be quite busy. I've got John watching over me. I have more Christmas thank-you notes to write, and a tattoo to be covered among all the other things. Bright spots, I suppose. John is such a grump today too. He doesn't do mornings so well.
Yesterday was saved by the collar of her sweater. It began with the delivery of food and a fukubukuro (Andrew! rocks!) for the children and ended very late with a halting, painfully awkward quote thrown over a shoulder, a few lines from Baudelaire that warmed me to my toes, and a song played by Ben on a strange guitar, the culmination of an incredibly weird few weeks, distorted with an offer, made impossible with an expectation. One that remained unvoiced until yesterday.
Which I will explain tomorrow. Ha! Cliffhangers. Because I'm always the quintessential attention whore for you everyone.
I'm headed to see the lawyer now to look after Jacob's parents, assign guardianship in the event of my death (PJ with a landslide victory over even blood relatives. Which speaks volumes.) and to make sure Ben's ass is covered, living with me and my mental problems, so that he has rights as my tenant if someone misses the next collar that swings by, and I have a lunch date too, Lord knows John will be asleep somewhere by ten. What time is it now? Yes, 9:40, so that's about right.
She says I'm the one she really wants
But I'll never be the one that she needs.
I'm not here to be a creep.
I'm just feeling incomplete.
Take me home.
