Today brings a favorable shift in the winds, I believe.
He stayed in his new digs last night, which aren't so new considering he was spending every weekend here anyway. Only this time the door at the end of the hall stayed unlocked, and open. However we remained on two different floors at the opposite ends of the house from each other because there's nothing going on. Contrary to rumors, contrary to popular belief. Contrary to Rob's countdown to Smurfette giving up her blue. I never laughed so hard. Smurfette? Geez, you guys.
I will admit it's like sleeping on the floor of a cake shop when you're starving but you didn't hear that from me.
I'm human. Am I not human? Every now and then I feel human, so it's a start.
It's all wonderful
Living happily
To lose it all
Think you have everything
Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
You're going under
But you're over it all so you don't care about all that I had to see
I'd watch you wait until you come around
I was sitting earlier at coffee, picking lint off the knees of my black tights. Black shoes spattered with slush from melting snow on the sidewalk and icy patches that left me clutching Ben's arm as we went into the coffee shop. Wearing the coat he likes me in. My robin's egg blue one that is his favorite color in the whole world. Not smurf-blue but yeah, I get it.
He took today off to move. Shh. He already moved. Yesterday. There's only some out of season stuff and big pieces of furniture left. Things he doesn't need for a while. Things he'll pick up on the weekend. His goalie gear takes up half the basement. And hockey mirrors life. Jacob was defense but he was also the enforcer, and Ben makes the saves.
Wow. That's a lightbulb moment if ever there was one.
When we picked up our coffees and sat down he whipped the kids' Scholastic catalog out of his pocket and asked which stuff Henry and Ruth would like best. I smiled and said anything would thrill them beyond belief, as usual. We made up a list to order. We do this every month.
Then he asked me what I would like best. Right here, right now.
I said,
This.
