Best sleep of my life, with my arms wrapped around Ben's neck, Lochlan's arms around me as he is pressed against my back, his arms out around me, past me to hold Ben close. A B, B & L sandwich, the way it's supposed to be, and no one is ever hungry. No one is left behind, we're the three musketeers and he's solid enough, confident enough and stable and now I can resume my trajectory forward, into the hole in front of me.
It's the first day of fall. One of the twelve-foot skeletons is floating in the pool on a lounge chair. One is climbing up to Christian and Andrew's balcony. The pumpkins are artfully arranged on our front steps and the patio steps too, the tiny orange lights are strung up around the porch and my ghosts wait for their turn to scare everyone once it gets dark enough.
It's not going to, Lochlan says, as he lights his torches, one by one. Not now. We're back together again. Nothing's going to get in our way. Not anymore.
I hold my cast against my chest. I can feel my heart hammering as Jacob stands, patiently. A spectre, a sentry, a memory that won't be fleeting as it's too visceral and I've lost my mind. No one can find it. We looked everywhere. It's gone.
Maybe it's for the best, I look at Jake when I say it. He just looks away.
Shhh, Cole says as he strokes my hair. You don't need to worry about that.
I nod, like I did to whatever he said, or Caleb would always make me pay for talking back to his little brother.
Lochlan hands me one of his torches, and helps me hold it up because I can't do it with both hands. He has his head pressed against mine, hard. Not this time, Peanut. This time we get to burn it all down.
Gosh, I hope so.