I actually got my hand slapped yesterday for being bored because apparently it's my duty to be entertained by mindless reports and quarter-end statements.
Fuck this shit, I never asked to be on your board.
Oh, but someone is on a powertrip nonetheless and it's a long, relaxing one without interruptions and so I'm required to put on my uh...executive panties? or something and show up when summoned.
I drew skulls all over the reports they handed me, and a little baby dragon that the secretary smiled at before she realized Caleb was frowning at her. It's okay, no one else actually knows who I am either. I think half of them think I'm Caleb's personal assistant and the rest believe I'm the beneficiary of his fortune and I'm not interested.
They don't understand beneficiary is just a real swell way of coating sugar baby in..well, sugar. And sex. And denial and pretty covers on ugly truths.
I don't understand ventures or things like percentages or net asset growth and therefore draw skulls and post mildly passive-agressive journal entries from the boardroom table. I understand it later when he explains it in basic terms on the drive home. I want to cry Shut up! so I can listen to the car purr down the highway but he's busy explaining Henry's future to me and so I take dutiful mental notes so that I can continue to direct the funds to maximize returns long after Caleb is dead and gone.
When he says this I look at him, in shock, dazed, mouth open in a sort of horrified realization that nothing lasts forever.
I keep trying to forget that. Mostly by not listening.
When we get home Lochlan is pacing like a caged lion in the driveway. It's the hair. Somehow his curls are growing in dark red again, big and round and crazy and I would give God all of Caleb's money to have curls like that but I guess they are mine by default. He's all ragey-cagey because I left the grounds with the Devil and that isn't in his new rulebook.
But since Caleb is still in lawyer mode he makes it simple, telling Loch that we can all go back to court where Caleb will fight for access to the mother of his child, that no mediator in the world is going to allow the sometime-carnival-boyfriend of said object of desire to interfere in what is a healthy, productive co-parenting relationship.
Lochlan reminded him that they're aware of all facets of both co-parenting arrangements and our relationship, which Caleb is not to minimize and they're also aware that there's more to this than a litany of schoolyard threats to be determined.
Me, I walked inside while they were shouting at each other, took off my stupid platform shoes and sat up at the island in the kitchen, where PJ promptly poured me a drink and then went outside to make sure that everyone retreats safely to their corners. I'll fix it later. I just can't fix it now.
