He tried not to laugh but gave himself away. I had my head in the cupboard, trying to dig towels out of the back. I was singing along with Titanium.
You're not titanium, you're copper. You're soft, expensive and you turn green in the rain.
Gee, thanks. Can you grab these? I hold out a stack of towels.
He takes them and gooses me. I shriek and smash my head on the inside of the cupboard.
NICE, LOCHLAN.
Ha, I wasn't going to pass that up. You were helpless.
Then you be helpful!
He sticks his lip out, chagrined and then he smiles. Sorry, Midget.
Yeah, yeah. Just wait until I get you back.
Argh, shit. Never thought of that.
***
Ben calls early and says exactly nothing. He won't say how he feels, aside from Meh, alright, you? He won't say when he's coming home. He won't say all the things he should be saying. We're stuck in purgatory here while I get goosed by the court jester and flayed by the sadomasochist.
Can you call back tomorrow when you can talk?
Huh? I can talk. There's no one here, Bee.
Then talk, because you're not.
It's hard to hear your voice.
Want me to put on someone else? Or impressions. I can do those. So it won't be me. Who do you want?
What impressions can you do?
I can't do any, actually.
Then I guess I'm stuck with you.
Well you were, but then you left too.
Too?
Like the others.
Bridget-
I have to go. Take care, Benny.
I fucking hung up on him and died a thousand deaths on the spot.
