Last night was a departure from life's most recent betrayal, romance to the extreme, a sharp contrast designed by my husband to offset the misery of recent life. I did say that Jacob is proactive, fixing things as soon as they have to be fixed, well, you really have no idea. The timing of this night couldn't have been better.
He decided that being married to me for 35 whole days was something we needed to celebrate in fine style and that it was planned long before Ben crossed me so acutely.
I didn't see this coming.
After we put the kids to bed last night, PJ called and said he was on his way. Huh? Why? He chuckled and told me to ask Jacob. When I hung up I asked Jake and he smiled smugly and told me to go put on my best dress, because tonight was to be a black tie occasion.
So I did, with my swing coat too because nights are cold now.
I was putting on a little makeup and he walks in to find his hairbrush and he's in his very best suit and tie. Drop dead gorgeous. I stopped mid-gloss, that's how handsome he is.
PJ arrives to babysit and we leave. We drove over past the waterfront market and Jake parked the truck and then we walked down to the lawns and docks that stretch out beside the river. We got to the top of the stone steps leading to the boardwalk and Jake asked me to close my eyes. Then he led me down the steps slowly (this was scary-dark night, high heels, and my eyes are closed, on hundred year old stone steps set into grass. You try it!) and when my shoes hit wood he told me I could open my eyes.
Wow.
A beautiful table set for two. On the boardwalk right beside the water. Candles, white table linens, a tiny vase with a single white rose. And all the way around the table, strung from the lampposts were tiny white lights, sparkling and twinkling. It was breathtaking. He walked me to the table and took the rose, passing it to me. He told me the past thirty five days with me as his wife have been the greatest days of his life. He said he couldn't wait until we were celebrating thirty five years inside of mere days, and that things were going to get better because we have everything together.
I didn't even realize I had started to cry. Jacob wiped the tears away with his hands on my face. And he smiled at me.
He pulled my chair out for me and then he sat down too and a server appeared from nowhere. We had a tiny champagne toast, then stuffed mushrooms. Then orange-glazed cornish hen. I'm not understanding how he pulls these things off. I wasn't a great dinner partner, practically stunned into silence by the decadence of this night. From the edges of my vision I could see couples walking on the boardwalk and stopping to watch and I had that ever-present feeling that always strikes me about life continuing all around me while mine stands perfectly still.
Then Jake stood up and came around the table and offered me his hand. More surprises. We walked up to the pavilion, where there were more tiny white lights everywhere and then I heard what he would have heard while we were still seated: the classical guitar player. Playing for us.
I think I died and went to heaven. We danced, under the lights, under the stars and the low no-longer-new moon. It was so cold. The music flowed from slow to slower, and then back a little and when I wasn't being twirled around I could rest my head on Jacob's chest. He held me against him with his hand on the small of my back, his other hand holding my hand firmly.
We didn't talk while we danced. We didn't have too. I'm learning to live in the moment. I can do this. Jacob already knows how to do this. I'm still learning, an eager student.
Just as the last strains drifted away he offered me his arm. We returned to our table, where Jacob cemented the proof that he knows me best. Warm chocolate cake and coffee. Because by now we were freezing and so we ate quickly.
We took the water route back, talking about nothing of importance to anyone outside of our reach. Promising each other that we were going to take all the sorrow and drive it back far behind us, and that we were going to reach out and seize the future and break off huge portions of it, to be consumed in our ravenous need to move ahead.
It's nice to write about a night where everything is good. It's even nicer to tell you that I am making arrangements to blow Jacob away. This night was for me, and now I want to plan one for him.
