Thursday 14 September 2006

Hold your breath.



    She's old enough
    She knows enough
    She's thrown up
    So throw her
    Out to me
    And I'll treat her like she was mine



Except for a raging case of the pukies I'm feeling better today. Nice to know it's the flu instead of a cold. But who cares? I can almost breathe again.

This morning in therapy we talked about my self-confidence.

Gee, that was so much fun.

I don't have issues with that. My ego is what carries me through. I can still dance on tables and smile at everyone and be falling the fuck apart on the inside.

Claus has pointed out somewhat unhelpfully that doing that (and I know he was trying not to picture me dancing on a table. It's really fun and very bumpy-grindy) has nothing to do with self-confidence and keeps wanting to go back and revisit my abilities to compartmentalize everything so efficiently.

I cut him off today. I didn't want to deal with that. I wanted to hear that I was doing great and that I'm normal and stupid and just like everyone else.

Except way prettier.

Sexier, hell, one of a kind. Keep it coming.

When I left the office I told Jacob I was going to cut off all my hair and dye it black and then I would be taken seriously. He laughed and then looked a little scared.

I wouldn't do that. My famous Brigitte Bardot/ longhaired bedhead is part of my personality. I should insure it or something.

So yes, therapy went unwell, and then I came home and lost my coffee. Which made Jacob smile while he held my hair back. Not because he's a masochist, but because..well..

Nevermind. It's the flu.