Hold your breath.

    She's old enough
    She knows enough
    She's thrown up
    So throw her
    Out to me
    And I'll treat her like she was mine



Except for a raging case of the pukies I'm feeling better today. Nice to know it's the flu instead of a cold. But who cares? I can almost breathe again.

This morning in therapy we talked about my self-confidence.

Gee, that was so much fun.

I don't have issues with that. My ego is what carries me through. I can still dance on tables and smile at everyone and be falling the fuck apart on the inside.

Claus has pointed out somewhat unhelpfully that doing that (and I know he was trying not to picture me dancing on a table. It's really fun and very bumpy-grindy) has nothing to do with self-confidence and keeps wanting to go back and revisit my abilities to compartmentalize everything so efficiently.

I cut him off today. I didn't want to deal with that. I wanted to hear that I was doing great and that I'm normal and stupid and just like everyone else.

Except way prettier.

Sexier, hell, one of a kind. Keep it coming.

When I left the office I told Jacob I was going to cut off all my hair and dye it black and then I would be taken seriously. He laughed and then looked a little scared.

I wouldn't do that. My famous Brigitte Bardot/ longhaired bedhead is part of my personality. I should insure it or something.

So yes, therapy went unwell, and then I came home and lost my coffee. Which made Jacob smile while he held my hair back. Not because he's a masochist, but because..well..

Nevermind. It's the flu.