Things toasted until they're burnt, martini olives, k-pop and doom metal playlists that alternate between the two, velvet hair ties and Ozark.
Sam is rapid-fire. Fast. Okay, name the perfect day.
It's raining like crazy. Lochlan and I wake up, make love, have a long hot bubble bath and then make eggs and toast and coffee. Then we paint for a little while and then go for a walk on the beach, pop into a little restaurant for chinese food. After we get home again we change into dry clothes and watch a movie and then make love again and go to sleep by ten.
Specific.
It happens around once every five or six years, just by chance. It's the best day ever.
I'll make a note of that. I think Matt would be up for it. Sam laughs. Now, a barometre on today.
I still hate the snow and I'm worn down and I hate this time of year anyway but daylight brings perspective that I don't seem to possess at night hence the drinking, and everything will be okay.
The drinking. Address this.
I honestly don't think the three martinis I had this week, spread out across seven days are cause for alarm.
What would be?
Three a night.
Definitely.
Though, having a second is not the end of the world.
But can you not have any for a week?
Yes, but I fear the unchecked anxiety will just kill me faster, to be fair.
To be fair you're not taking your med-
I HATE the side effects. Sam, you know. (Really hard to not full-on whine here but I tried.)
Which is worse?
Side-effects, every time.
We can keep looking-
I said I was done being a test subject and I meant it, Sam.
I understand.
Keep going with the questions, this is fun.
Favourite song.
Right this second? The Real by Ateez.
Hahahahaha that's amazing.
It's a banger. Just like my life.
Sam smiles but it's not his practiced, professional smile. It's full-on, with teeth.
What's happening?
Sam is dissecting my brain in real-time.
And?
Sam turns to Lochlan. You're right. It's full of cotton candy and glitter.
Better than wet clouds, like sometimes. Lochlan smiles back. No teeth though.