Monday 1 March 2021

A shimmering light.

Everett made two very large pots of Texas chili last night and a platter of garlic bread we probably could have used for a defacto kayak for its size. He asked if we usually cook our own food individually and I told him no, that most nights I cook for everyone, usually four nights a week or more, and then someone else will cook or especially on Fridays we let everyone fend. Sometimes Ruth and Henry will go and pick up fast food, sometimes we make pizzas and I only have to prepare the dough. Some nights we just don't eat but at least throughout the majority of the week we have sit-down family dinners and on special occasions the whole point shows up. 

He remains surprised that we have such a traditional family organization while not being traditional at all, and since he comes from a big family (one of eight children) he fit right in. 

Everett is kind-looking, handsome in a country-boy sort of way. Slim with reddish brown hair and tortoiseshell almost-round glasses. He arrived in jeans and a yellow and green plaid flannel shirt. He wears brown leather desert boots and wears a watch with a dial but no other jewelry. He does not check his phone. Ever. I watched him steadily all evening and not once did he pull anything out to look at. I don't know if he has an iphone or an android nor did he ask for the wifi guest password but maybe Ben already gave it to him. He listens to 3 Doors Down, The Fray and Joe Jackson. Paul McCartney and the Stones. He does not listen to metal though he said he can appreciate Ben's music, played for him while Ben spent time at the lodge, due to it's highly cathartic nature. Yes, he loves America (the band). Oh my God, good. He can stay.

At this point Ben asked me to stop grilling him. I was about to embark on his own flaws, upbringing, addictions. Qualifications. The important stuff that I need to know before I'll tell you the time, if you ask. I trust in reverse. You don't have it until you break it. You get nothing and you earn it all.

Everett is staying in the guest room on the main floor. The super-separated one we save for family members who don't visit often. It has a tiny kitchen, den and a walk-out garden patio. It's almost a duplicate to the suite that Duncan and Dalton have downstairs but way smaller. This goes off the same hallway as the library and the garden is right at the foot of the woods. So he has privacy and a little den where we can talk, or we can just use the library, big patio or the beach. He runs. He does not have an accent nor would he tell me where he was from but I didn't ask directly. He does match his fingertips up when he's explaining something which fascinates me. 

And Ben is right. He is easy to talk to, but so far not in a way that I forgot why he was here, because I still sat down to dinner on the edge of my chair in order to continue to balance that giant chip on my shoulder, as it tends to alter my centre of gravity quite a bit.

He has a wonderful laugh. My guard slips just a little.

Just a little bit, though. 

After dinner we spend two hours out on the patio talking. Or rather, I talk and he adds and questions and confirms everything Ben told him just to be sure he heard it all correctly and understands. 

I give him everything. All of it. I don't lie. I don't leave anything out and I wrap it up with my own theories. 

He agrees with them. 

I didn't expect that. 

None of it's fixable, I point out. I'm more qualified than anyone at this point to say that. I am closest to her. 

Fixable isn't the word I would use. I can teach you how to reframe and rework all of this in order to work to a place where you don't step out your door and immediately fall off a proverbial cliff. 

Reframing just sounds like looking on the bright side, Everett. 

Well, it isn't because that's just a platitude and I don't deal in those, Bridget.We're also going to look at the division of labour here in the house and your sleep patterns and between all of it I think you're going to feel better when it's time for me to move on. 

Do you think you will? 

Do I think I will what? I don't follow. 

Move on? 

Ah. Yes, Ben also mentioned you live at the Hotel California. I got the reference. I don't believe it's literal though. 

Ooooh. I had such hopes for you. The song is not about drugs, Everett. It's far spookier.

He laughed. Such a lovely sound. So pure but also jaded and somehow he's come out the other side of something. I want that so bad suddenly. To be on the other side of myself. I need to hold on to this feeling. 

I  sense that you've already decided you're going to work with me, he says before standing up and calling it a night. (It's a night, all right.) You coming in? 

No. Caleb will be out in a moment, I'm sure. Good night. Let us know if you need anything. 

This is luxury by my standards, and I truly appreciate your hospitality. I don't think there's anything here left to need.

Oh, just you wait, I say to no one, because he's already gone.