These days pass me byJacob still doesn't like this. When I come into the kitchen this morning Caleb is already present, making coffee, reading on his phone. He's wearing a soft t-shirt and worn jeans. Bare feet. I wonder if I've ever seen him in my house without shoes before. Maybe only in my room. I don't know but it seems odd and then perfectly natural, like the first thing a man does when he's home is kick off his shoes. He takes his mug and his phone and heads to sit down, right where Jacob is already sitting, leaning forward, elbows on the table, worn sleeves rolled up. Worn jeans to match only Caleb prefers dark denim. Designer. Probably Balmain. Jacob lived in his Levis from Sears. $39 in the big and tall section. I only know this because it's where Ben goes for his. Or used to. Now Sears is gone and I don't know where to look.
I dream with open eyes
Nightmares haunt my days
Visions blur my nights
I'm so confused
What's true or false
What's fact or fiction after all
I feel like I'm an apparition's pet
But you haven't lost me yet
Caleb puts his cup down and sits back in the chair. Good morning, Beautiful. Did you sleep?
Jacob disappears as the cup lands on the table, reappearing beside me. I almost die from shock but flinch almost imperceptibly inwardly instead, nodding.
I did. You? I turn to stare at Jacob and he frowns. That wasn't necessary.
I'm not allowed to greet you now? Caleb looks unimpressed.
Not you. Just-nevermind.
Jacob laughs. Told you you can't handle more than one man at a time. This isn't who you are-
I know who I am! I hiss in his direction.
I know you do. Caleb is waiting, alarmed.
Sorry. Just thinking out loud.
He's here, isn't he? Caleb is the Devil. Of course he can see angels. He used to be one.
Who? I shoot him a look of confusion and what I hope passes for irritation and I hurry out of the room and back upstairs. Anywhere Jacob isn't.