Is that what it is? The grand gestures? The fact that they fall all over themselves to see to your happiness?
There's no magic formula so you should save your breath.
You don't believe in second chances?
No and don't tell me you do. You never gave me any.
I'd like to, now.
It's too late. I mourned you first.
You got in over your head and couldn't get back out. It wasn't your fault. And I should have done something.
You should have done a lot of things.
You were supposed to come back.
No, I wasn't.
Look me in the eye and say that.
No.
No because you don't believe the words coming out of your own mouth. Peanut, what did you talk yourself into this time?
He had asked me that question once before, the day I spent all of my pin money on blue cotton candy and ate nothing else for a whole day and then had a single warm beer and spent the remainder of the evening behind the trailer, barfing up blue foamy surprise. He laughed then and walked away, back to the bonfire. I crawled back into the camper, wiped my face on his last remaining clean t-shirt and fell asleep fully clothed in the center of the bed. I never did figure out who he was more angry with that night, me or himself.
He takes care of me.
I took care of you too, once upon a time.
You took a pass, that's what you did. You hung me out to dry and you let Cole take over and look what happened.
If you love someone, set them free. He laughed bitterly and took a sip of his drink.
It wasn't meant to be, Lochlan.
Sure it was. The fortune teller told you so.
You never told me what she said to you.
Because she was a sham. Because it's not important.
Then you can tell me.
He took a longer drink this time. Courage, it meant and I regretted asking. I am done. I don't want to talk anymore.
She said that I would forever be watching you fall and be unable to help you. And that it was my punishment for what I have done.
But nothing had happened yet, Loch.
He nodded. Cold blood ran through my veins as I took the glass right out of his hand and finished his drink. It was pure whiskey and I was wholly unprepared.
I coughed hard and pushed the glass to him. I don't need this. I don't need him. I don't need these feelings bubbling up all the time like air bubbles trapped beneath the surface. But they do, and I have to get used to it. Just like he does.
