Somewhere around midnight last night, I fell asleep. A book on my face, the cool breeze carrying the scent of roses in to me, a few drops remaining in a cup of tea on the table nearby. The windchimes in the front room a gentle toll of bells that brought into my dreams a flood of boats bobbing on the water and buoys clanking. The hammock swayed just enough to mimic a rowboat slumber and I was in my glory, soon to wake up by the seashore, my first view that of my favorite blue water, the place where I breathe. I waited with such anticipation. I could almost taste it.
Instead I was gently prodded back to earth and away from heaven when skin mixed with rough stubble rubbed against my cheek. Lips against my ear, a hand on my other ear as he tried to rouse me to come to bed without startling me.
His lips left my ear and trailed gently, butterfly kisses until he reached my lips and we met in a sweet dream unto itself, those best ones being when you wake up mid-kiss.
So relaxed was I that not a single coherent thought could work through my brain and form into words. I struggled to greet him, to tell him how tired I was, to point out I loved him and this wasn't the ocean and oh, gee, I have to go to bed before I fall down. The words stumbled out in slurs. He laughed, he kissed my forehead and led me to bed by the hand, taking the book and the tea too, and once I was in a so much more comfortable place I had a final notion that I would sleep fully clothed because zzzzzzz.
Upon waking I am still a little fuzzy. I feel good, I feel a little tired but good. There is no barometer and these are the best days. The ones where I feel vaguely happy and barely ambivalent and all is strangely well.
Which means that I am still medicated.
Ha!
Jacob is so much smarter than I am. Because I didn't figure it out until this morning. Here I took the encouragement and support for what has amounted to a twelve pound weight gain and two averted almost-lows and thought I was handling things so much better. The joke is on me but you know something? It's fine. We'll leave it. It explains multitudes of events, or should I say, non-events.
In other news fit to print waking up on a Monday knowing the fridge and pantry are stocked, the house is clean, the laundry is caught up and summer vacation is now in full swing is just wonderful. I'm going to enlist the kids to help with a little yard work out front and then we'll retire into the shade this afternoon for ice cream cones and then a movie before dinner. Tonight is fresh sweet corn for dinner, courtesy of the farmer's market. So good with real butter and a little salt. I find something wonderful about a day with no commitments. Except for getting being well, but it looks like he's going to take care of that for me. Jacob takes care of everything.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescents
Difficult to see you in this light
Please forgive this selfish question, but
What am I to say to all these ghouls tonight?
"She never told a lie,
... well might have told a lie,
But never lived one.
Didn't have a life,
Didn't have a life,
But surely saved one."
See? I'm alright
Now it's time for us to let you go.
