Just as a fun aside, I never quite forget that rehabilitation is a business, as Everett is back, this time for Ben, having boarded a jet yesterday late morning, because the amount of money it costs means his personal plans can be easily changed so he packed and showed up and he's calm and relaxed, the exact sort of corporate mindfulness the company portrays as it makes you every promise you ask for. Without hesitation.
Personally I think for the amount of money that has been spent on getting Ben clean and keeping him that way there should be a lifetime guarantee of his squeaky-soapiness but instead I just write another cheque and off he goes.
Not that I'm complaining about the money-part. It's not my money, and I would spend every last dime for that guarantee but no one will give it to me.
Everett will spend the weekend here getting Ben organized, packed and stabilized for their flight south back to the land of five-star accommodations, nature walks and painting. Ben will gain forty pounds and remember where his place was in my fairy tale since it appears he has forgotten.
Don't worry. This is normal, they say.
There's nothing normal about this fairy tale but it's mine.
When do I get him back?
Everett smiles. This is the difference between this home and most. Most say don't come back until things are different. You set a time limit and want him back no matter if he's ready or not.
Why wouldn't he be ready to come home?
Why would he use again when he's been clean so long, Bridge? Fear. Uncertainty. It shows us where to focus this time, and maybe since Ben's brain injury it's a good time to reevaluate everything in a new light.
I nod. What else am I going to say?
Let's talk about you for a moment.
As I turn I sweep the ghosts into my shadow so Everett can't see them. Of course.
How are you doing?
Great. Never better. Just worried about Ben, that's all. My white knuckles behind my back are being squeezed so hard by Jacob I almost cry out but I manage a glassy, controlled smile to show I've got this.
(When in reality Ben and I are a team. One falls, the other falls off a cliff to help.)
Bridget, I think we should talk tonight at the meeting. Everett has agreed to attend the meeting to help steer the inevitable accusations. The blame, doubt and the weird helplessness that ends in fists and shouts. Tonight will be no different, I'm sure.