Skills week is drawing on and what have we learned? To be flexible, resourceful and cheerful even in the face of adversity. To not run or panic but stay put and problem-solve. To fix things with what we have at hand or can easily (steal) acquire.
I just stare at Lochlan as he talks. I think he's lost it. We've always been good at those things. We worked on the midway racket and then in the circus for fifteen fucking years. If I'm not inventive and fluid then I'm nothing today. Granted, the midway was far more difficult. In the circus we were just exploited and poor. So this is like the midway. Fix your shit, suck it up, get going, and whatever you do, don't cry where they might see you.
(This is where Lochlan did virtually all of his growing up and why he's a bit of a loose cannon temperament-wise but also the person you want beside you when everything goes wrong.)
(Unless it's death. He really isn't good with death AT ALL though he said he feared many times we would be killed on the road by a jealous boss or an angry farmer.)
My only actual skill was being cute on either circuit. I wonder if that will work here?
It won't, he barks and I go back to trying to help. Trying to be handy and useful but staying out of his way. I feel like I'm eleven years old again, desperately hungry and tired and the back waistband of my shorts is a little wet and uncomfortable from where I squatted behind the trees off the highway to pee and couldn't not make a mess of myself and I think he's angry at me for it but he's actually angry at himself for putting us in this position but the radiator leaks and he forgot to get more water at the last gas station.
He didn't want to admit he got distracted because I refused to use the disgusting bathroom there and so he lets me take the blame. It would be later that night after a soothing bath in the lake and hanging up our now-clean clothes to dry that he would admit anything at all.
(Gosh, we were so romantic.)
*Rolls eyes*
Fuck this. I throw the socket wrench that he is refusing to take from me and walk out of the garage into the bright sun.
He can put it back together himself. I'm going to go fire up Youtube and start a self-directed orienteering course, though as I've said before, he won't let out of sight, not like I'll ever be lost on a mountain. I don't mind being kept very close, but I do mind if you take all of your frustrations out on me.
That's MY department.
HEY. He comes bursting out of the garage into the light.
You know what this reminds me of?
That time you peed all over your shorts and I got mad at you?
Yes. AS A MATTER OF FACT IT DOES.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bridget. I took my frustration out on you because you're a safe place to fall. I shouldn't have.
And what are you doing now?
The same...thing. I'm sorry, Peanut. I wanted this to be the most perfect, exciting summer with all of the things you loved about being on the road with none of the hardships and some moments, I swear it's as if the hardships just never stop.
Sure they do.
How so?
Now you just order everything online and you don't look at the prices, even.
He laughs. True. And I think that's enough work for one day.
Really? When do you think we'll be back in the camper?
A few days. In the meantime, I have a surprise.
What kind of surprise?
Let me show you.
He takes me upstairs, stopping at the sink first in the kitchen to scrub up and then takes my hand and pulls me up to our room and I'm like oooooh, "lunch" but when I open the door the room has been transformed. There are tiny lights everywhere. The furniture is gone and in it's place is the little tent that I bought ages ago to use as a shade for the kids at the beach when they were younger. It's set up with foam pads and a large double sleeping bag right by the fireplace. There is a cooler nearby.
And a Ben. Who is waiting patiently for camping to start because at least he fits in this room.
Where's my bed? I ask and they both burst out laughing.
I told him you would want to know that first.
Where is it?
On the balcony. Don't worry. We wrapped it all well so if it rains it's safe.
Okay.
Is it? Lochlan is suddenly concerned because he might be difficult when frustrated or scared but he also lives and breathes by making me happy.
Are there s'mores?
Right here. Ben holds up a picnic basket.
Just for a couple of nights until everything is ready.
I love it.
Do you?
The room is so huge! It echoes. Weird (weird) (weird)! This is perfect!
Wait a second. He closes the blinds and the blackout curtains and turns on a tiny projector. Now the room is a planetarium. Stars everywhere. Now it's perfect, Bridgie.