Sticking close to Benjamin today. The seas are still rough out this way and Ben is a lighthouse on the shore. Rigid, safe. Unyielding, welcome. He's learned unconscious affection thoroughly and I'm going to take full advantage while Lochlan rages on in between serendipitous moments of tenderness. We have our moments where we get along, where we hang on each others' words and we have our moments when we hate the very sight and sound of each other. This has never changed, we're not in any danger here, it's just the way it is. Little things are far too big and big things far too minor and we can't seem to switch it around so we continue on, down a very strange path indeed.
He's coming home in a few hours and is happy to farm out care to Ben in the meantime, who is recording some vocal tracks today for a project (*coming early October! Now leave me alone). He's getting a little older (shhhh) and still wants to be fierce (as if he's not?) and so has me come in and sit for his dirty vocals (that's when you growl-scream the lyrics instead of singing them nicely. It's called unclean or clean singing depending on whether he sounds like a demon or an angel). If I flinch or get uncomfortable, he knows he's doing it right. I never could fake a facial expression to save my life so he's used that to his full advantage and it works well.
Except for today. Today it didn't work at all. Today he got me all settled, hit the button, ran through the motions and finally let out this deep and unholy guttural roar, a growl that sent me ripping headphones off, shrieking right off the stool in front of him, out the door of the booth in tears. I don't know what happened. It was overwhelming.
He chased me right up the stairs, as it was easy to tell where I was by the screaming, grabbing me at the top, pulling me in with a gentle laugh.
You okay, Bee? Did I scare you?
I don't know. Maybe. It was just...a lot. Sorry I wrecked the take.
Actually, if it's okay with you, I'd like to leave your cries in.
He's coming home in a few hours and is happy to farm out care to Ben in the meantime, who is recording some vocal tracks today for a project (*coming early October! Now leave me alone). He's getting a little older (shhhh) and still wants to be fierce (as if he's not?) and so has me come in and sit for his dirty vocals (that's when you growl-scream the lyrics instead of singing them nicely. It's called unclean or clean singing depending on whether he sounds like a demon or an angel). If I flinch or get uncomfortable, he knows he's doing it right. I never could fake a facial expression to save my life so he's used that to his full advantage and it works well.
Except for today. Today it didn't work at all. Today he got me all settled, hit the button, ran through the motions and finally let out this deep and unholy guttural roar, a growl that sent me ripping headphones off, shrieking right off the stool in front of him, out the door of the booth in tears. I don't know what happened. It was overwhelming.
He chased me right up the stairs, as it was easy to tell where I was by the screaming, grabbing me at the top, pulling me in with a gentle laugh.
You okay, Bee? Did I scare you?
I don't know. Maybe. It was just...a lot. Sorry I wrecked the take.
Actually, if it's okay with you, I'd like to leave your cries in.