Friday 24 May 2019

Monsters (Bridget) and men.

This day is punctured full of holes, letting the rain and humidity pour in, wilting PJ's attempts at jokes about how I not once but twice in a single week failed to time my visit to New York with the opening of the whole park, jokes meant to mask his fear, the fear I see in all of their eyes as they wonder if I'm seriously considering Caleb's offer.

As if I ever do (looks around).

I mean, I did and look where we are now? What's to say I can't further extend him right up until the day he dies?

What if Lochlan dies first?

What if I do?

I don't have a crystal ball and I didn't like the readings I got from the fortune teller. She scared me worse than Caleb ever could and still I play games (she said I would) with the devil because that's what passes the time for us. I throw him a bone because he's a dog with a singular master. I entertain his offers because maybe one of them will sound good enough to get the wheels rolling again and just maybe someday Lochlan and Caleb will be best friends again, like they should have been, were meant to be, all along.

I ask Lochlan if it's a possibility while we sit wrapped in a blanket together on the porch, sharing a cup of tea. I've decided I think I already hate tea and crave a cup of coffee like nobody's business. I have no willpower at all.

It isn't, he replies. He doesn't even hesitate. Our moral paths differ wildly. I have them, he doesn't. 

People don't change? 

Monsters aren't people. I can get along with him for your sake, for everyone's sakes but no. It's not going to be the three musketeers living out our days-

Like we are right now. He lives one room over. 

Jesus Christ. You're right? 

So does that mean you might consider this? 

No, I think we have to find a way to move him out. 

Lochlan! 

Well, Batman has a big empty house. He can live there. Away from me. 

It's never going to get better than this, is it? 

I think this is pretty damned good, Bridget. I no longer want to murder him at every waking moment but I'm not going to fight him for you into my old age. You're mine. He won't be a part of our future so stop trying to talk me into it.