I still don't have a phone but you know what? I don't need one. They know where I am. The kids message PJ, Lochlan or Caleb (or each other) if they need something and really I spend way too much time playing Knock Knock on it (yes, still) than anything else. I don't have any social media to look at and horse pictures even get boring after a while. I miss music but I also have a handy leftover iphone 6 that plays it just fine.
I will need a camera, shortly. Henry graduates next month. I'm taking him shopping this weekend for a suit and shirt for his ceremony and maybe if we can find something for the prom, that would be great too but he's like me, he hates to dress up.
Speaking of which, Ewa i Walla is having a huge sale. I kind of bought everything. Sorry not sorry.
Everyone always wants to know where I get my coats with the tiny endless buttons, now you know. Their clothes are very generously cut and also I am fairly short so what looks cropped in the catalogue is actually quite long in real life. Everything is natural fibres. Nothing hurts. Their clothes are just beautiful in real life. Caleb hates them because they're unstructured, very civil-war-meets-European-farm with a side of hippie style and he prefers very high end perfectly tailored things so I told him to shop somewhere else for himself and he frowned at me but left his credit card on the table.
He just wants to make me happy, he says.
Clothes...don't do that, I remind him.
I know.
Then what?
I'm glad you're feeling better.
I'm not but it's Thursday and I'm trying not to be mopey.
Oh, is that what you're doing? He laughs.
Maybe.
I had a good sleep. Lochlan waded back into the fray and took over heartbeat duties. His heartbeat is a hummingbird, a swift breeze, a percussion tap. It isn't relaxing but makes me feel like I should jump up and do something. It's less about the rhythm and more about his own nervous energy. He didn't feel physically tired and so neither one of us would sleep. Until finally Ben returned and his odd peacefulness sent us all into a slumber that rivalled anything I've ever had before.
I feel like with these two, I finally got something right.
I feel lucky.
Grateful.
Blessed, finally. Even when my brain tries to sabotage my perfect life and I can't control it eventually my heart wins out, murdering my brain in its sleep, hauling it up by the collar and yelling in it's face. Look! Look at this! Let her have this! Finally! Jesus!
I will need a camera, shortly. Henry graduates next month. I'm taking him shopping this weekend for a suit and shirt for his ceremony and maybe if we can find something for the prom, that would be great too but he's like me, he hates to dress up.
Speaking of which, Ewa i Walla is having a huge sale. I kind of bought everything. Sorry not sorry.
Everyone always wants to know where I get my coats with the tiny endless buttons, now you know. Their clothes are very generously cut and also I am fairly short so what looks cropped in the catalogue is actually quite long in real life. Everything is natural fibres. Nothing hurts. Their clothes are just beautiful in real life. Caleb hates them because they're unstructured, very civil-war-meets-European-farm with a side of hippie style and he prefers very high end perfectly tailored things so I told him to shop somewhere else for himself and he frowned at me but left his credit card on the table.
He just wants to make me happy, he says.
Clothes...don't do that, I remind him.
I know.
Then what?
I'm glad you're feeling better.
I'm not but it's Thursday and I'm trying not to be mopey.
Oh, is that what you're doing? He laughs.
Maybe.
I had a good sleep. Lochlan waded back into the fray and took over heartbeat duties. His heartbeat is a hummingbird, a swift breeze, a percussion tap. It isn't relaxing but makes me feel like I should jump up and do something. It's less about the rhythm and more about his own nervous energy. He didn't feel physically tired and so neither one of us would sleep. Until finally Ben returned and his odd peacefulness sent us all into a slumber that rivalled anything I've ever had before.
I feel like with these two, I finally got something right.
I feel lucky.
Grateful.
Blessed, finally. Even when my brain tries to sabotage my perfect life and I can't control it eventually my heart wins out, murdering my brain in its sleep, hauling it up by the collar and yelling in it's face. Look! Look at this! Let her have this! Finally! Jesus!