Monday 20 April 2009

Sam, once again, wants me to say how I really feel.

I think there has been more accomplished in this house in a single morning than the previous six months. I have had a run, semi-participated in an early-morning family meeting and then was visibly neglected as the boys continue their bromance for the ages here, which is usually something that happens on a smaller scale, after tours and over motorcycles and barbecues and oh yeah, matters of life and death.

I love that word, bromance. It's just so...appropriate lately.

Trust me, I'm thrilled they're all getting along and everyone is attempting to help make our lives easier and Ben's days smooth and seamless and un-trying and Bridget's head in control and all that wonderful stuff they usually do, just on a much larger scale. Right now it's nice to be needed. It's nice to help him help himself. It's so beyond awesome that he is home again because I need him here.

Because I'm selfish.

What isn't nice is trying to shut up the little voice inside my head that really wants to be the centre of attention.

What is nice is that I see it for what it is and I'm not giving it a voice today.

I do try. I really do. I try hard to be a good person and a good wife and a good friend. So that voice will stay deep inside and hopefully when I'm not looking it will just go away completely.

Like other feelings do. Right Lochlan?

(Oh, bitchy. There's a feeling that needs to go too.)

Sorry there isn't more today, everything is just weird and uncomfortable today. There are too many people here and I'm tired and I just don't do well in these kinds of days. Come back tomorrow, okay?