(A comparison I never made and never wanted to, and a memory I'd like to keep, even if I shouldn't. It's a piece of my soul and everyone wants it, so here. Jacob wants me to deal with this because I steadfastly refuse to and it's holding him up. I'll apologize for the three-way conversation in advance.)
If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?
Looking around at my friends, they're all intimate in some way, they're all alike, I can predict what they will say, what they'll pick to eat or do, how they'll feel. They found each other through similar interests-music, death defying sports, Cole, me. Sought out because these guys love to be in close vicinity to Bridget's sweet smile and long blonde hair, especially if she'll feed you. Food to your belly and thoughts for your soul.
I love men who are athletic, artistic, emotional, affectionate, muscular, musically inclined and medievally minded. Which I'm not explaining today.
So it stands as slight surprise that Cole and Jacob were alot alike, despite the fact that they were polar opposites.
Possibly.
Cole had dark brown hair, dark brown beard, usually a goatee, dark blue eyes, he always wore black t-shirts and black or blue jeans. The dark ringer for Trey Anastasio.
Jacob has white blonde hair, a blonde beard, eyes so light blue they're just about white, he lives in white shirts and paler jeans or cords, dimples and a drop-dead beautifully amused smile that makes him look just like a young Redford.
Attitude-wise they were both tensely laid-back, mellow but quick to anger, kind but cutting.
And that's where it stops. They liked different foods, different drinks, Jacob likes alcohol once in a blue moon but it ruins him, Cole could drink anything regularly and it never phased him. They spoke the same language. They both played guitar, only Cole very rarely sang, while Jacob never stops singing. Loud. He has no shame. Cole was too shy for that.
They both loved people around but Jacob likes to stick to the phone once he's home for the day or night.
I said they spoke the same language. I wasn't kidding. The night I left him, Cole came home to find Jacob blocking his path into the kitchen, where I was sitting in terror of his arrival. Shaking so hard in fear that Jacob was disgusted. He expected a war, at that point.
What's up, Preacher Boy?
She's mine, Brother.
Take her and go, then. Have fun, baby girl.
No, Cole, she's not coming back to you.
Cole stared at Jake without saying anything, the cockiness leaving his eyes, flowing out visibly as it dawned on him that Jake was right. From that point on he ignored Jacob's presence.
Bridge, baby, what have you done?
He wrenched Jacob's arm out of the way and kneeled in front of where I sat at the table.
We're done. We're finished, Cole.
What have you done?
Do you have a place you can stay?
He put his hands up to his face, I flinched and Jacob tensed up but Cole simply rocked back on his heels and then laughed, sadly.
The kids...
Jacob cut him off.
We'll sort out the details later, tonight she wants you out. Fair?
It isn't fair, Bridget.
No, it isn't.
You reap what you sow, Cole.
Don't you say that to me, Preacher. You've been trying to steal my wife since you met her.
I love her.
SO DO I!
You hurt her.
What did you say to him, Bridget?
Nothing. I said nothing.
SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING. My God, do you think we're blind?
I never-
Exactly. Just go, we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm not talking to you. You're a fucking thief.
Cole.
What, baby? Anything.
Go. Please.
He stared at me for what felt like hours and then he stood up slowly and turned, heading upstairs. I heard him go into each child's room, knowing he would kiss them as they slept, oblivious to the change about to happen in their lives and then he threw some clothes into a bag and came back down. He stood in the doorway for a moment, staring at me. I would have run to him right then but Jacob was holding my hand. He looked at our hands and turned and left. Slamming the door behind him and then the car door and then I waited for the sound of screeching tires but it never came.
I turned around and asked Jacob to leave. He was incredulous but accommodating.
You can't be here right now.
I know. But if he comes back-
We both know he won't come back tonight.
Bridget, I don't want to leave you alo-
Please just go, Jacob.
The difference between them is Jacob never listens to me either. (Thinkfastdearreader) He didn't go. He decided he should stay and tried to overrule me, instantly overstepping boundaries and claiming ownership and I moved those boundaries closer still and threw him out anyway and he went home after a kiss. After a long kiss I already wrote about here.
I still maintain he probably slept on the front lawn or in the tree house so that he would be close by but he says he walked down to the church for a bit and then went home and slept fitfully.
Someone asked me the other day if I would do it all again knowing what I know now. I would but there would have been a lot of things I would have done differently too. I just don't really know what they are yet.
