Sunday 8 October 2006

In between dreams.

Did I mention we're sleeping at last?

I had the weirdest dream ever last night. I'm going to blame the new pills and the X-men movie marathon.

In my dream the wind was blowing so hard I could barely stand up. The sky was ominous. Jacob had this bucket and he kept shoving it toward me and yelling at me.

Fill the bucket, Bridget! Put all your hopes inside and then it can't blow away! I'll help!

I kept pushing the bucket away. I was trying to explain that my hopes weren't something I could place in a bucket. You can't see them...you can only think about them. If wishes were stones I wouldn't be able to lift my feet from the ground.

But he couldn't hear me. He wouldn't listen to me anyway. He was so adamant. He just kept pleading with me to do it, desperation soaking his voice, his eyes glassed over in terror.

I woke up in a cold sweat. I woke him up and I looked at him and I wanted him to see it too, I had to make him understand it. Why I will never know.

Just because you can't see it doesn't mean I don't have it, Jacob.

And he knew what I was talking about.

Bridget, hopes are what move us forward. Faith is what we subsist on, and hope is the promise of better things to come. I know you have both or you wouldn't be here with me. Now go back to sleep, beautiful.

He snuggled me into his arms, and yet I was awake for the rest of the night.

How did he know what I meant?