Thursday, 3 August 2006

Never ever ever coming back down from this day.

This morning I had a huge surprise. Up at 4:30. In the morning. I thought we were going back up to the cottage. Jacob told me to get dressed in something warmish and very casual. PJ had arrived and was downstairs making coffee, compensated heavily to babysit this early.


Jake filled a thermos with coffee and off we went. He had lost his mind.

Where are we going?

Apparently it was to be a secret. Pffffut. We drove out of the city and past farms and fields, now gold with late summer sunflowers, barley and canola. Down a dirt road. I'm thinking breakfast picnic but we didn't bring food. We drove out into this field and I saw it. The sun wasn't even up yet.






I squealed out loud. Like a baby pig. Jacob laughed.

Shit. Scariness. I'm terrified of heights but this is too exciting to be afraid. Besides, Jake's right there. We're going up! Ohmygodohmygod. The sun was just starting to peek above the horizon when we finally climbed into the gondola after the safety briefing and then up we went. So beautiful I barely had words. Jacob held my hands. I was shaking like a leaf but so excited at the same time to be so high up in the sky. Then as we crossed the most amazing field of sunflowers I didn't even know existed, Jacob turned to me and got that look. I call it his shut-the-hell-up-I'm-about-to-be-very-serious look. The balloon operator nodded and told Jacob that we were at a thousand feet if he was ready. Jacob started to speak and then stopped and chuckled and told me he couldn't get down on one knee because there wasn't enough room.

...couldn't..get...down on one...? Oh my God oh my God.




He took me into his arms and held me so tight. He put his head down and kissed my ear and then spoke. He asked me if I would marry him. Loud and clear into my ear. I didn't expect this day. And never in a million years did I think a human being was capable of conquering this degree of romance. He put a ring on my finger. Which I didn't really stop to look at because I was too busy smiling at him, tears rolling. Thankfully none of my ugly crying. He was blushing, so flustered, a mess of nerves. Uncharacteristic nerves, he never needs those with me. I wondered briefly if he thought I might turn him down. No, that would never happen. It was simply the day he has always waited for, and now it was here. At last.

I will marry you, Jake. A million times over.

I didn't have to even say it out loud but I did. Great, now we're both crying. I give up, we're emotional people.

I really have no idea what the rest of our flight was like. When the balloon landed and they helped us out of the basket there was champagne for a toast. Congratulations were extended. If only they knew what we had been through to make it to this moment.

On the way home in the car Jacob asked me if I had a day in mind for our wedding. I said not really. Then I started throwing out ideas. Halloween? Christmas? Next Spring? Something very small, just for us. He asked what I thought of Saturday.

This Saturday you mean?

I really don't want to wait anymore, Bridge.

oh my God. Yes.

One thing.

I don't think I can take one more thing, Jacob.



Will you take my last name, Bridget?

I'd like nothing better than to take your name, Jacob.

(he got all teary-eyed then, and that made for my infamous full-on ugly crying. Oh, hell.)

Do you have any idea how happy you make me?

I think I do, Jacob.

No, Bridge. No you don't. You really have no idea.

It was after he said that that I went to check my bag to see if I had a tissue when finally I remembered to look at the ring.

A pearl.

A pearl ring, simple, beyond the most beautiful thing I have ever seen before. A perfect fit even. He has an aptitude for this sort of thing and I never knew.

I never knew I could have this kind of happiness. I have no words for this.

Do you like it?

I love it. I'm completely overwhelmed. It's perfect. It's me.

I couldn't give my saltwater princess anything except a pearl. I found you by the ocean and the ocean keeps going, Bridge. She's strong and fierce and beautiful and she never stops. Just like you.

(I almost lost this post, deleting it by mistake. So I'll tack it on here so everything stays chronological).

12.5 hours

Much of this day was spent enveloped in making plans. Talking, phoning, trying to figure out how to pull off a wedding when I was given all of 48 hours notice (not that I'm complaining). Early on it became insurmountable. Who is invited? Do we throw a small party afterwards? Go out for a group dinner? What will we wear? Dressed to the nines or casual because we're casual people and it's our bliss? What about the families? Friends? Heck, what about the kids? What about those around us who don't approve, saying it's too much too soon and we should wait a little longer. We were forced to give up completely by this afternoon. It just wasn't falling into place at all.

Oh but we're still getting married tomorrow morning. Just me and Jacob and a minister that he knows from the united church nearby to officiate. And that's it. I have an ivory vintage swing dress that works. He has his good linen suit, and we don't need a big party or matching flowers or a bunch of people around.

Nope, we just need what we already have. Each other.

Works for me.

I did get cake though. Bridget always needs cake. Chocolate cake.

Wish me luck. No, don't wish me luck, I already have it. Wish me well instead.