Caleb snapped at something or other when he was leaving this morning after bringing back a couple of books and so I chased him outside and asked what was wrong.
Oh, let's just say the playing field isn't level.
What are you talking about?
Lochlan's allowed to make all of these sweeping gestures and when I try you won't allow it, send it back, refuse, or generally hobble all of my efforts, Neamhchiontach. I just want to spoil you for your birthday and every day and instead I have to watch Pyro win all the time by renting a goddamned barge and putting a camper on the beach.
Is that how?! Wait, how did he get it off the barge? Does it float? Oh my gos-
With a crane. He puts his fingers to his forehead as if I've given him a headache. The barge has a crane so you lift it onto shore. There was a tug involved. It took a fair effort to get it far enough back from the tide. But you've missed the point.
Which was?
Why can't I make the gestures?
Because your gestures involve things like buying me the Eiffel tower or twenty-carat rare diamonds or-
Would you like to go back to Paris?
Look who's the one missing the point now.
So you're saying my gestures are too large. Too much.
A little. Okay, a lot.
And I'm supposed to step out of the way now so the man who made you sleep in goat pastures gets all the glory.
Caleb-
He'll never be able to do for you what I can. That barge stunt cost him his entire bonus for the project, you know. I don't think he had any idea of the costs involved before he planned it. Or how he's going to get it off the beach now that it's there. In any case, I feel like he's learning a lesson about going up against someone with actual means-
This isn't how life works. They don't learn. Someone doesn't love you because you impress them, they love you because you finish their sentences, you're within reach, you're alike in so many ways. You make them feel comfortable and safe. It's a deep attachment you can't put a price on or give a trophy for.
I leave him standing there and go find Lochlan, who is in the library reading, his glasses halfway down his nose, a fresh, significant haircut to start a new chapter of life (and also because I did manage to knot his hair up good yesterday and he actually doesn't want his dreads back).
Your bonus from the network. What are you going to do with it?
Surprise the love of my life.
Oh my God, he was right.
Who?
Caleb said you spent the whole thing on a barge to make the beach campsite.
He's wrong.
Oh, thank God.
The cost of the camper was actually slightly more than the barge but not by much. If you add them together then yes, that was my bonus.
Why did you spend it all on something that's going to bring up bad memories?
Wait, wait, WAIT. Who said it's going to bring back anything but good memories? And I can spend it how I please, so if I want to make good on a promise you won't let me make good on, since you want to live in a camper by the sea but you also won't move, I'm then limited to making campsites and hiring barges.
Oh. Yeah.
Oh yeah yourself.
I still love it.
You'd better. 'Twas expensive.
Oh, let's just say the playing field isn't level.
What are you talking about?
Lochlan's allowed to make all of these sweeping gestures and when I try you won't allow it, send it back, refuse, or generally hobble all of my efforts, Neamhchiontach. I just want to spoil you for your birthday and every day and instead I have to watch Pyro win all the time by renting a goddamned barge and putting a camper on the beach.
Is that how?! Wait, how did he get it off the barge? Does it float? Oh my gos-
With a crane. He puts his fingers to his forehead as if I've given him a headache. The barge has a crane so you lift it onto shore. There was a tug involved. It took a fair effort to get it far enough back from the tide. But you've missed the point.
Which was?
Why can't I make the gestures?
Because your gestures involve things like buying me the Eiffel tower or twenty-carat rare diamonds or-
Would you like to go back to Paris?
Look who's the one missing the point now.
So you're saying my gestures are too large. Too much.
A little. Okay, a lot.
And I'm supposed to step out of the way now so the man who made you sleep in goat pastures gets all the glory.
Caleb-
He'll never be able to do for you what I can. That barge stunt cost him his entire bonus for the project, you know. I don't think he had any idea of the costs involved before he planned it. Or how he's going to get it off the beach now that it's there. In any case, I feel like he's learning a lesson about going up against someone with actual means-
This isn't how life works. They don't learn. Someone doesn't love you because you impress them, they love you because you finish their sentences, you're within reach, you're alike in so many ways. You make them feel comfortable and safe. It's a deep attachment you can't put a price on or give a trophy for.
I leave him standing there and go find Lochlan, who is in the library reading, his glasses halfway down his nose, a fresh, significant haircut to start a new chapter of life (and also because I did manage to knot his hair up good yesterday and he actually doesn't want his dreads back).
Your bonus from the network. What are you going to do with it?
Surprise the love of my life.
Oh my God, he was right.
Who?
Caleb said you spent the whole thing on a barge to make the beach campsite.
He's wrong.
Oh, thank God.
The cost of the camper was actually slightly more than the barge but not by much. If you add them together then yes, that was my bonus.
Why did you spend it all on something that's going to bring up bad memories?
Wait, wait, WAIT. Who said it's going to bring back anything but good memories? And I can spend it how I please, so if I want to make good on a promise you won't let me make good on, since you want to live in a camper by the sea but you also won't move, I'm then limited to making campsites and hiring barges.
Oh. Yeah.
Oh yeah yourself.
I still love it.
You'd better. 'Twas expensive.