Guess where I woke up?
In the camper, on the beach (!!!), the sound of the surf filling my ears so beautifully it supposedly took Lochlan five tries to whisper Happy Birthday to me as we curled up together in sleep in a bed so tiny I slept like a baby, and never felt even once like I was falling. Our history in these tiny trailers is the reason why I can only fall asleep if I'm pressed in between solid things. Like a wall and a person, two people or absolutely packed in tight with heavy quilts. Otherwise I don't sleep and if I wind up untethered in the King size beds in my room I feel weightless and unprotected.
So yes, PTSD for everyone, as Lochlan didn't sleep at all. He fretted about whether we'd be warm enough, even as Ben and John carried the heaters down to the beach just in case, Caleb rolled his eyes and lamented Lochlan's choice of camper, without a heater. He would have spent more. Hell, he would have just built a house there.
But who needs a heater when Lochlan is fire incarnate?
I wasn't cold. I slept so hard I may never sleep in the house ever again, and being by the water's edge far exceeded the camper up in the backyard. But Lochlan finds it difficult to return to a time when he rarely slept, always on edge, always on alert. So I don't know how to fix that except the way I've been taught. If you're afraid of something the only way to stop feeling the fear is to immerse yourself in it. It worked with me for elevators, and Caleb's dominance, and isolation when I remained behind in the Prairies packing up the castle when we moved the Collective here to the West coast. It hasn't worked for heights for me though. I can't subject myself to anything higher than a Ferris Wheel, or in this case the Wonder Wheel. Planes are okay but buildings, ziplines, gondolas and chair lifts make me scream and I won't go.
I keep veering off-topic though.
We were starving when we woke up and Lochlan had breakfast ready to roll. Coffee pot in the fire. Croissants and cheese and apples. He put the croissants on a stick and warmed them over the fire while the water boiled. It was amazing. I didn't want to leave but maybe we'll be back tonight. We dressed in yesterday's clothes and made the climb back up the cliff.
Reluctantly.
And the backyard was finished. The inside is finished. The trailers are gone. Tools are gone. Mini-backhoe is gone and and flowers are everywhere. Decorative shrubs are gone and the steps are finished. The low walls are finished. The palazzo is finished. The yard looks incredible. They structured the back to match the front with its brick walkways and driveways and the fountain of the most alabaster fine concrete I think I've seen or touched, something that weathers to a beautiful soft ash.
And then I realize the pool is full. The chairs are back. The shades are pulled up, the barbecue is set in place in the outdoor kitchen and it matches the new outdoor kitchen here in my yard and wow.
Supposedly they worked all night on the landscaping and cleaning to get it done and then when it was finished Caleb and Andrew got up at four in the morning to begin to fill the pool.
And I didn't know of or hear any of it because we were sleeping at the bottom of the cliff, on purpose. So it was a huge group plan and Lochlan took the hit because it means more to him that I'm happy than that Caleb wins.
Except he didn't. I won't tell him though. I think it will be obvious when he sees I've transferred all of the costs of the camper and barge from his account back to Lochlan, since Caleb piggybacked on Lochlan's plan, taking advantage to score points.
Caleb comes out to stand beside me in the wind as I look over my new beautiful...er...grounds. I can't call this a yard. It would be demeaning and inappropriate at this point. Even the new grass looks expensive.
What do you think, Neamhchiontach?
(Not Happy Birthday, not Good Morning but how did I do in the contest?)
It's incredible. I love it! And he looks so pleased with himself as I turn and look up at him. But I'm angry with you. And I leave him there to figure it out. I really need a hot shower and some new clothes. I need to change the trajectory of this day. It's my day, after all and Caleb isn't going to make it his.
In the camper, on the beach (!!!), the sound of the surf filling my ears so beautifully it supposedly took Lochlan five tries to whisper Happy Birthday to me as we curled up together in sleep in a bed so tiny I slept like a baby, and never felt even once like I was falling. Our history in these tiny trailers is the reason why I can only fall asleep if I'm pressed in between solid things. Like a wall and a person, two people or absolutely packed in tight with heavy quilts. Otherwise I don't sleep and if I wind up untethered in the King size beds in my room I feel weightless and unprotected.
So yes, PTSD for everyone, as Lochlan didn't sleep at all. He fretted about whether we'd be warm enough, even as Ben and John carried the heaters down to the beach just in case, Caleb rolled his eyes and lamented Lochlan's choice of camper, without a heater. He would have spent more. Hell, he would have just built a house there.
But who needs a heater when Lochlan is fire incarnate?
I wasn't cold. I slept so hard I may never sleep in the house ever again, and being by the water's edge far exceeded the camper up in the backyard. But Lochlan finds it difficult to return to a time when he rarely slept, always on edge, always on alert. So I don't know how to fix that except the way I've been taught. If you're afraid of something the only way to stop feeling the fear is to immerse yourself in it. It worked with me for elevators, and Caleb's dominance, and isolation when I remained behind in the Prairies packing up the castle when we moved the Collective here to the West coast. It hasn't worked for heights for me though. I can't subject myself to anything higher than a Ferris Wheel, or in this case the Wonder Wheel. Planes are okay but buildings, ziplines, gondolas and chair lifts make me scream and I won't go.
I keep veering off-topic though.
We were starving when we woke up and Lochlan had breakfast ready to roll. Coffee pot in the fire. Croissants and cheese and apples. He put the croissants on a stick and warmed them over the fire while the water boiled. It was amazing. I didn't want to leave but maybe we'll be back tonight. We dressed in yesterday's clothes and made the climb back up the cliff.
Reluctantly.
And the backyard was finished. The inside is finished. The trailers are gone. Tools are gone. Mini-backhoe is gone and and flowers are everywhere. Decorative shrubs are gone and the steps are finished. The low walls are finished. The palazzo is finished. The yard looks incredible. They structured the back to match the front with its brick walkways and driveways and the fountain of the most alabaster fine concrete I think I've seen or touched, something that weathers to a beautiful soft ash.
And then I realize the pool is full. The chairs are back. The shades are pulled up, the barbecue is set in place in the outdoor kitchen and it matches the new outdoor kitchen here in my yard and wow.
Supposedly they worked all night on the landscaping and cleaning to get it done and then when it was finished Caleb and Andrew got up at four in the morning to begin to fill the pool.
And I didn't know of or hear any of it because we were sleeping at the bottom of the cliff, on purpose. So it was a huge group plan and Lochlan took the hit because it means more to him that I'm happy than that Caleb wins.
Except he didn't. I won't tell him though. I think it will be obvious when he sees I've transferred all of the costs of the camper and barge from his account back to Lochlan, since Caleb piggybacked on Lochlan's plan, taking advantage to score points.
Caleb comes out to stand beside me in the wind as I look over my new beautiful...er...grounds. I can't call this a yard. It would be demeaning and inappropriate at this point. Even the new grass looks expensive.
What do you think, Neamhchiontach?
(Not Happy Birthday, not Good Morning but how did I do in the contest?)
It's incredible. I love it! And he looks so pleased with himself as I turn and look up at him. But I'm angry with you. And I leave him there to figure it out. I really need a hot shower and some new clothes. I need to change the trajectory of this day. It's my day, after all and Caleb isn't going to make it his.