But you were Support-Jesus. You sold out like the rest of them. You were ready to leave Jacob and anxious to strike out on your own and do what he taught you so it was an easy choice.
Bridget-
I can't talk about it now, Sam. I'm tired.
The meds?
No, Loch lets those wear off. I'm busy trying to figure out if the only reason Ben is staying home is because of me, or if he wants to go back out.
(Because right in the thick of this Ben got the invitation of his dreams to do a fall European run and it would only be four long miserable months and he said no without hesitation but then he told Dalton about it, and Dalton spilled the beans and now not only have they ruined my life but I have ruined theirs.
I wasn't going to go anyway, Bee.
Sure you are. It's a wonderful opportunity, Benjamin-
It's the same old shit and I don't go out on the road anymore. I would rather be here. I'd rather not put my hard work in jeopardy-
To babysit me some more.
To stay sober. And I'm not babysitting. Oh, and not sure if you noticed but Jacob isn't real and he isn't here.
Right, okay.
Why would he stay away so long?
Caleb pays for permanence.
Then why would Jacob show up? Also what's different now from before?
Because he changed his mind and now I believe he's real. I guess I'm tired of everyone telling me I'm crazy. Getting tired of Caleb choreographing my show. Getting tired of money talking while hearts take second place.
Bumbleebee, you need sleep. We've gone through all of this.
I stopped believing all of you and no one likes that. I know it. It was easier when I bought the story you all wrote for me instead of the truth. I get that. It always is.
Where's Lochlan?
He can't save me. Though the narrative is absolutely beautiful-
Where is he? Ben is shouting now and I shrug. The dreamland of what they made is pretty much the same as the one I can dream up around them. My suspicions, sorry, my revelations are no more left-field or crazier sounding than what they've constructed here. What's the difference?
What is the difference? If you're right and he left you and took the money then it's not a fairy tale is it? It's a horror movie either way.
Ben slams out the back door and is gone.
See? He wants to be on the road. Even with the risks, it's probably easier than this.
Sam shakes his head. Why would we do that to you, Bridget? After Cole, especially. With two small kids, all the logistics-
Because you could. Money can do anything. And because the army was never going to let someone new come in and take me away. Not in this lifetime.
Lochlan's in the doorway. Ben says you're lighting bridges on fire. Fire is my department so I'm here to put them out. He holds out a big glass of iced tea and another pill, because the fairy tale wore off too fucking fast. I think you should write this out. It's so creative.
I am, I yell at him while I take the pill. Every. Damned. Day!